validation trap, it is important for us to gain respect and admiration for who we are rather than what we own. Getting the approval and admiration of your friends and loved ones because of your presence and how you make them feel costs little but carries much value.
“ It is important for us to gain respect and admiration for who we are rather than what we own.
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Housel also refers to the concept of psychological wealth when he speaks of spending money. He explains that the level of contentment or happiness we experience when it comes to our wealth is the difference between what we have relative to what we want. A person who has everything but desires more feels poorer than a person who has little but has no desire for more. Regardless of whether we are super rich or poor, the key is to appreciate what we have and to stop focusing on what is missing or what others have. We have more control over desiring less than over gaining more wealth, which leads to durable contentment rather than fleeting happiness.
An important distinction Housel makes about the life we desire, is between being rich and being wealthy. Being rich means you have all the money you need to buy what you want or desire. But being wealthy means that you have control over your desires and the power that money has in your life when it comes to your time, values, relationships, desires and mental health. When we have a healthy relationship with money and take control over why and how we spend it, it will serve us rather than us serving it. Money will enable us to become who we really are as a unique human being rather than define who we are.
If we want money to serve us in living our life purpose, we need to find a healthy balance between creating financial security for the long term and finding lasting happiness and satisfaction through healthy spending behaviour. We need to explore what type of spending provides us with the most meaningful experiences and lasting satisfaction at every life stage. But to achieve this, we need to avoid underestimating our own self-worth; to stop trying to live up to the expectations of society and not to compare ourselves and our lifestyles with that of others.
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* Note that none of the articles in this publication constitute financial advice, medical advice or legal advice. Additional notes relating to featured content can be found on page 46.
Johan Gouws
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