Writing on Trial Final Portfolio | Página 4

Table of Contents Turbulence, quarter one, prose , page 9 For this piece, I got the idea of what to write about after my aunt talked to me about a time she was on her way to Rome and her plane was about to fall because of turbulence. This piece is a good-average piece because I tried my best to improve the storyline and feel that I added a lot of details and expanded scenes to make the story line have more ambience. It was really hard to come up with an ending that was not that expected, to me that was the challenge. Reading out loud my piece really help me revise it because I found out the some words were either to much or I felt like I needed to add a bit more. Plus, the feedback my peers gave me was great because they helped me in exactly what I was struggling which was creating character. Jose Luis and Teresa gave me awesome feedback about my description and gave me some ideas to end the story in a different way and that really helped a lot. "The flight attendant offered Madeline a delicious and juicy roast beef with boiled vegetables accompanied by a piece of croissant and an “natural” orange juice. It seemed delicious, but then remembered plane food is never that good." This quotation really adds ambience to my story line because it vividly describes a real life situation anybody could go through in a plane. Overall, I think that I could have used more dialogue between the flight attendant and Madeline “Madeline shiver and start biting her nail. Without thinking it twice, she stood up and went directly to talk to the nearest flight attendant” to make the story more realistic and make the characters have a personality. I choose this piece as part of my final portfolio because it represents one of the pieces in which I worked a lot to develop the characters and that was one of my overall goals for this school year. 1985, quarter two, prose , page 13 In geography class we were learning about earthquakes and the severe impact it can have on society. In class, we had to research an earthquake that to this date had an impact on México, and I researched the earthquake of México City in 1985. The story was fascinating and I thought it would be fun to write a type of memorial or throwback to the earthquake. I started the story from another perspective as if it was a diary. At first the story lacked a lot of details, but after using the feedback in the paper pass, the story evolved a lot. I received feedback with questions which included: Why is the girl eager to listen to the story? Add more details to the earthquake itself. I used those feedbacks to make my story much more realistic including details about corpses in the street or sirens all around the city. After complimenting my story, it turned out to be much more complex and interesting to read, yet I totally think I can improve the story by maybe writing another diary entry where I finish the story her grandfather never ended, that would make the story more complete. For this piece in particular, I think I did an excellent job in being realistic and trying to be as cold as I possibly could especially in this part: “Buildings crashed to the floor, cement blocks covering cars, broken glass, people screaming for help…” since it helped the reader imagine their surrounding and devastation. I consider this piece to represent me as a writer because of the descriptions used since I try to represent feelings through descriptions. I consider this piece to describe my way of writing since I try to use daily events and the create a totally different and original story avoiding stories that have already been talked about. I choose this piece as part of my final portfolio because I really liked the fact that I used my own knowledge to write a fiction story with actual facts. Plus, I think that as many of my pieces, this piece represents me a lot with the use of descriptions. 4 of 33