you have so much more time to just like … dwell in that .
[ WM ] Were your days off harder because of that ?
[ Luke ] Totally . Our staff takes Fridays off and my wife works on Fridays . I ’ d sit on the couch by 10am and the next thing I knew , she ’ d walk in at 6pm . I ’ d barely moved . When I was bored , I felt like all those dark emotions would just bubble up to the surface . It was brutal .
[ WM ] You mentioned you were in professional therapy and you were prescribed medication to help . Can you share more about that ?
[ Luke ] That season was the turning point … when I got on medication and got into counseling , I did it at the same time and it was such a game changer .
[ WM ] In what way did they help ?
[ Luke ] Well , first the medication just does something to you physically . There were times when the depression in my body would keep me in bed . I wouldn ’ t be able to do anything . But the medicine kind of recalibrated my brain in a way where … I still feel the same things , but it didn ’ t feel like there ’ s a 500-pound weight on my chest . And then when I got into counseling … I remember those first sessions where I would just be weeping and not be able to articulate anything . My counselor saw so many things in me that I didn ’ t really see in myself . Like , even in the ways that I would talk , he would challenge me and the way I was thinking . He gave me tools to change some of the thought processes I had .
The medication helped with the intensity of the depression , and the counseling did all the … surgical stuff . Like , we gotta go in there and we gotta like tear this bad stuff out . That ’ s the painful part , but then it grows back stronger . That ’ s when things started to change , but I was still on medication and counseling for about a year .
[ WM ] It sounds like you ’ ve worked your way off the medication after that year . What was that process like ?
[ Luke ] Yeah , the process was actually easier than I thought it would be because I feel like I didn ’ t rush to get off of medication … Probably because I was just actually too scared to get off . In total I was on meds for 2 years and during the last 3-6 months or so things just started feeling much more stable . I noticed that I was having multiple good WEEKS in a row . I wasn ’ t counting days anymore . I noticed that I was laughing at the things I used to think were hilarious . And I felt like I could see and feel God for the first time in a long time . I was feeling like Luke again . There was definitely anxiety that came with the thought of getting off . I ’ d have thoughts like “ What if it all comes back ?” But thankfully after all the time spent in counseling