WNY Family Magazine March 2020 | Page 43

8) Offer your expertise. Most of the caregiver’s responsibili- ties will be new to her. If you are a nurse, offer to help administer medication. Es- tate planners or lawyers may also want to answer questions that come up. Friends that have served as caregivers in the past can be the best guides during this process. 55 & OVER Living at it 's F inest THE COMFORT OF KNOWING YOU ARE HOME 9) Be the shoulder to cry on. Sometimes the caregiver just needs to vent about their patient, the doctors, insurance, or the unfairness of it all. Of- ten the caregiver wants someone to just listen and sympathize, but not necessar- ily propose a solution. In other words, she needs a girlfriend. 1 AND 2 BEDROOM STYLES • Smoke free complex • Spacious first floor lobby and lounge areas complete with fireplace, community kitchen and computer with Internet access. Additional lounges on second and third floors • Located near two major bus lines HEAT AND HOT WATER INCLUDED Comfortable, Convenient and Secure... CALL TODAY 834-3711 Shaarey Zedek Apartments 55 AND OVER LIVING 410 Hartford Road • Amherst, NY (Millersport and Sheridan area) www.echahousing.com • Each apartment is equipped with medical emergency pull cords • Advanced electronic entry security system and state-of-the-art fire safety and alarm system • Amherst Senior Transportation Services available 10)  Keep inviting. Long term caregivers feel like their friends have forgotten them after the initial first few months in their new po- sition. The cards, care packages, and in- vitations quit coming. Extend the invita- tions to parties as well as for a walk in the neighborhood. If she says no, don’t badger. Instead, offer a rain check and ask again next time. Eventually she will take you up on it. 11)  Keep the caregiver smiling. Send a funny card in the mail. It will be a nice break from medical bills and insurance letters. Email a daily joke. Text a silly picture or meme. Try to break the cycle of seriousness if only for a moment. It shows the caregiver that you are still thinking about her. 12)  Help to fill the gap. A longtime caregiver’s job often ends due to the death of their patient. When that happens, there will be a large hole in their life. Not only did their loved one pass away, but their iden- tity as a caregiver and daily routine has come to an abrupt end. Offer your sup- port to help them get back on their feet and find a new normal. Pam Molnar is a freelance writer and daughter of a caregiver. She knows how much stress it puts on a family and hopes that caregivers get the recognition they deserve. March 2020 WNY Family 43