I
n the year since my
first installment on
being my mother’s
caregiver (in the March
2019 ElderCare Guide), we
had to take a new apartment
after my landlord asked
us to move. For the entire
three months I was looking
for a new place, I constantly
worried about how Mom
would fare.
ogetic but I was numb. After
a week she was transferred
to the rehabilitation section
of the hospital. Because I
didn’t want my frail little
mother to be transported in
the cold, I elected to keep
her at the facility where she
had fallen. Plus, it was real-
ly close to my house, which
had to be a factor with our
winter weather now in full
force. Note to caregivers:
make it as easy as you can
for you, too.
In the end, it all worked
out. Maybe it was the resi-
dential realtor in her, but
Mom understood when I fi-
nally told her, and acclimat-
ed beautifully to our new
place. We ended up staying
in my preferred neighbor-
hood and had a great sum-
mer on our new porch host-
ing family and friends.
Caring for my mother
has become routine. Know-
ing that I have to give her
all of my attention once she
wakes, I make sure to do all
of my paperwork, pay bills,
make calls, and walk my
dog before she does so. By afternoon,
I have adjusted my life to accommo-
date the three hours I have daily to do
errands or go to lunch while her com-
panion Cece comes to relieve me. She
provides a new perspective on the day,
giving Mom lunch, talking about being a
mother and grandmother, and letting her
help fold laundry.
Burdens & Blessings
All was going well until, in early
December, I got sick with a bad cold,
and then Mom caught it. After two
nights of hacking, she was so weak
that she could not stand. I knew I was
beyond my depth. I called 9-1-1 and off
to the emergency room we went.
It was only the second time Mom
had been in the hospital since having my
brother and I sixty-plus years ago! Last
year she became dehydrated at one point
and only spent three days there and was
back to our little routine good as new.
This time it was different.
While being diagnosed with pneu-
monia, her blood pressure went way
44 WNY Family March 2020
Part 2
A New Routine
— by Susan Lojacono
down. She did stabilize, but was trans-
ferred to the ICU. Within a day however,
she rallied and was moved to a regular
floor.
Then I got the call. She had been
left unattended in the bathroom, fell, and
broke her upper arm. The staff was apol-
I spent Christmas Eve
and Day visiting Mom. She
didn’t seem to know the
difference. She was weak
and unable to feed herself.
She became incontinent.
Her arm was in a sling and
she could barely walk. She
had physical and occupa-
tional therapy every day
and was exhausted. Within
ten days however, they said
she could come home. I was
convinced with Cece’s help,
we could handle it.
But then I was the one who fell out-
side her hospital room and injured my
own shoulder! The staff ran to me and
helped me get up, but all I wanted to do
at that point was get Mom back in her
familiar surroundings. That place had
not been kind to our left arms! By New
Year’s Day, we somehow got her into
my car, as the staff told us they could no
longer help due to insurance limitations,
and with our neighbors’ assistance, we
got her wheelchair up the front stairs of
my home.
Within a day the parade of phone-
calls started. Soon helpers arrived. First,
Bob, the physical therapist came with
a folder of services Mom would be eli-
gible for. Next would be occupational
therapy. A temporary home health aide
to help with self-cleaning. A dietician to
get her to eat more. A speech therapist to
help with getting Mom to swallow pills.
A referral to St. Amelia’s Outreach Cen-
ter to pick up a “transfer bench” to get
her in and out of the shower.