Don’t make her number one; make her the only one
My wife and I have counselled a few of our dating friends concerning setting boundaries. When the ladies complain that the men are not giving them attention, the men get surprised when I ask them if there is another girl in their life, not to claim infidelity but just to inquire of a close friendship with the opposite sex other than the girlfriend
The answer most of the times is a yes. They then respond that they still don’t understand because even with this other friend of the opposite sex, they haven’t stopped calling, visiting, texting and complimenting their girlfriends. I congratulate them for not stopping doing those things but I reprimand them for doing those very things to the other girl who is “just a friend” or a “best friend.” You cannot have a smooth relationship with your girlfriend and still claim that the other girl seated on the relationship couch is just your best friend.
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It is often hard for the girlfriend to declare that she isn’t comfortable with your “best friend” because in the recent past you treat the best friend like she’s your girlfriend. You run to her rescue and it drives your girl mad if she hasn’t told you. She won’t, by the way; no one wants to be accused of being jealous. You compliment your “best friend” on how cute she looks in that dress or on her newly made hair and it drives your girl insane. Fear not though, nobody accuses you for there is no relationship school. However, Beloved, allow me to accuse you of being irresponsible for your partner’s heart and feelings. You need no school to know you’re guilty of that. She’s hurting because your relationship is not exclusive. The man needs to lead the relationship and declare exclusivity. However, no amount of declaration will save the day if it is not practiced. Pardon me for using the male side in explaining. Just note that the same applies to women too.
Relationships