VYou like her company. You have a lot in common. You talk a lot on chat or via text message or via Whatsapp. You would be dead worried if she got hurt. You would punch the guy who breaks her heart. You are fond of her. You know her very well. She refers to you as a close friend. You probably call her your best friend, if not you consider her to be one. Many people have asked you if you are dating. You have fantasized about them severally. You know their phone number by heart. You have a girlfriend. She’s not your girlfriend.
Young man, you’re courting fire.
Substitute all the above hers to his and feminize all relevant masculine nouns and pronouns. Yes, this blog is talking to women too.
When my wife and I were in campus, we had a rule concerning our dating relationship. It was simple: the relationship is exclusive. While it sounds obvious, the lines of exclusivity become really blurry when a member of the opposite sex fits herself/himself into the equation. It is as if they are squeezing in-between a two-seater couch where you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are seated. The seat can only accommodate two but there’s an “invited” friend who has wedged himself or herself to participate in your lives. I say invited because one of the partners in the relationship allowed the stranger to sit or rather, they watched them sit and did nothing. A crowded couch is no fun. So, most likely, one original member of the relationship left because their partner won’t speak up to protect their intimacy in the relationship.
Relationships work best when they are exclusive. And for exclusivity to happen, those boundaries need to be drawn clearly and intentionally by both women and men.
Make your Relationship Exclusive:
What my wife and I learned while dating
Relationships