Self-sabotage 151 When we don’ t do something we consciously want to do, we are being shown the discrepancy between this conscious desire and the plan our unconscious has for us. When it comes to weight loss, make no mistake as to which will prevail unless we understand what is going on. Bo Bennett’ s quote at the beginning of this chapter says it all. So, if you agree that setting up the three strategic structures( an Eating Awareness Diary, developing a shopping list and educating those with whom you share your refrigerator) are a good idea but don’ t do them, you have just been given some important news about your readiness to change. Now you can start to appreciate why setbacks to our weight-loss plan are so valuable. Setbacks tell us more about what our unconscious is up to. Setbacks give us valuable information about where we need to be careful and where to put our energy. At other times they give us more straightforward information. As I mentioned in our discussion about self-discipline and strategies for controlling over-eating triggers, one of my reliable setback situations was, and remains, buffet restaurants. Realizing that in a buffet restaurant I could not help myself I decided simply to avoid them. Basically, buffets taught me that I have no self-discipline to speak of when confronted with unlimited amounts of yummy food. This plan worked well until my son anointed Sizzler as his favorite restaurant. In our family, we try to celebrate every achievement, from minor to major, in some way. As our son managed to continuously improve his academic performance – valued in our family more than the actual marks he got – he regularly requested to go to Sizzler, a restaurant that prides itself on its buffet. Once, I did a bad, bad thing. Our son announced that he had just won an academic award – an achievement that granted him restaurant choosing rights. I responded,‘ Well done mate. You can decide where we go for dinner on our weekly family night out – pick anywhere but don’ t say Sizzler.’ I will never forget the expression on his face – that shift from elation to desolation – how bad did I feel?! When I came to my