142 Chapter 13 – Self-sabotage Self-sabotage is like a game of mental tug-of-war. It is the conscious mind versus the subconscious mind where the subconscious mind always eventually wins. Bo Bennett Only a few days before I wrote this, one of my psychotherapy clients, Pat, a mother of three, came to her appointment in an angry, frustrated mood. She opened with,‘ I don’ t know what’ s going on. It’ s really weird. Every time I get close to the weight I want to be, something goes wrong and I end up putting it all back on again. It’ s as if a part of me does not want me to be slim – but I doooo so want to be slim!! It’ s just like there is some demon in my head plotting to sabotage me. We need to work out what is going on because I am so totally sick of this!’ I hear stories like this all the time. People are understandably confused, discouraged and frustrated. What is happening here? It’ s as if we have two( or more) minds. There is what we think we want consciously and then there are what one of my clients called‘ the backroom boys’ who have their own plans for us. Not everyone who is unable to lose weight self-sabotages. Lots of people simply cannot lose the weight they wish to for a straightforward uncomplicated reason. Many people cannot lose weight simply because they love their food more than they love the idea of being slim. This is not particularly complicated and comes down to which of these two competing‘ wants’ is the strongest. If you love and want food more than you love and want to be slim then weight loss will simply not