What did I do to deserve him being a part of me? Was it my vagina that invited him in? Was it my curves that lured him? Was it my existence? Is being a woman a curse? After all that he did to me?
Why is he mine? Why is he my rapist?
SIR
Written by Chamari White-Mink Performed by Mars Rucker
Can I tell you a secret? I didn’ t mind being called sir.
I kind of liked it, preferred it even
. Sir. Sir. SIR.
Has a nice ring to it, doesn’ t it? I liked being called sir. So what? Doesn’ t mean anything, right? I mean, it doesn’ t matter that every time I looked in the mirror, I rehearsed what I thought was my own femininity.
It doesn’ t matter that hats became my safety net, my solace. What really kept me together, made me feel relieved, complete. It doesn’ t even matter that I rejected wearing earrings because they made me have an out-of-body experience, like I was watching a complete stranger wear sparkly and dangling metal objects forced into their ears.
It’ s such a violent action when you think about it. No wonder I always walked with my head down.