Voices Complete Transcript | Page 13

MY RAPIST

Written by Frieda Ndeutala Mukufa Performed by Tyshawna Maddox
Why do we say my rapist? Like, does he belong to me? What part of him belongs to me? What part of him resides within me? What part of his is left with me? Why is he mine?
I say my rapist like I’ m proud to call him mine. I’ m forced to say my rapist because it’ s double rape now. It identifies who I am. He makes up my identity. Someone I never asked to own. Someone I never wanted to own. Why is he always accompanied by my anger? Why does he fuel how I feel? Why is it that he is attached to my memories?
Why is he mine?
Is it because he was the first person to see the insides of me? A place that I preserved for when I was ready. A place I regarded holy. Is he mine because he took my voice? And in that moment, I could not scream. Is it because I still do not have the courage to speak up and tell my story? That he remains mine? Is it because his hands carried strength over my body? That he repossessed it to make it his and now we are one? Why is he mine? When did he become mine?
Is it because I’ m the only one that remembers? Is it because my memories exist because of him?