Vital Signs Volume 8, Issue 1 | Page 6

Keeping Our Children Safe Essential Tips for parents & caregivers • It is normal to feel frustrated when a baby or young child cries – but NO ONE should EVER shake or harm a baby or young child. • If you are feeling frustrated or angry – take a break. It’s OK to leave the baby in a safe place while you take a moment to regroup. Remember the safe place ABCs of Alone, on the Back and in a Crib. • Use care when deciding who can watch your child. If you don’t have good reason to have total and complete trust in the person, then don’t trust him or her with your child. • • Burns on a young baby or child, such as those caused by cigarettes or immersion in hot water, are also warning signs for child abuse. If you see burns on a young baby or child, seek immediate medical attention. • If you suspect that a particular situation may involve child abuse, contact the appropriate state agency immediately. In Kentucky, call 877-597-2331. In Indiana, call 800-800-5556. • More information and resources are available from Prevent Child Abuse Kentucky, 800-244-5373, www.pcaky.org, or Prevent Child Abuse Indiana, 317-775-6434, www.pcain.org. The responsibilities of parenting can be daunting for anyone, and even more so for single mothers who depend on reliable and affordable child care so that they can go to work or school. But when it comes to child abuse, the reality is that by far the greatest risk factor is leaving a child with an unrelated male caregiver. Moms should be aware that the risk of a child dying as a result of child abuse is up to 50 times higher for children living in a single-parent home with an unrelated adult caregiver – and 80 percent of those deaths are at the hands of the mother’s boyfriend, according to Sandra Herr, MD, medical director of the emergency department at Kosair Children’s Hospital. Dr. Herr explained that there could be several reasons for these staggering statistics. First, boyfriends or husbands who are not the child’s father do not have a parental bond with the child. Second, many of these men either did not intend to be parents or supervising young children at this point in their lives and are unprepared for that role. “They don’t necessarily have realistic expectations of what an infant or child can and can’t do,” Dr. Herr said. Third, the child was conceived in a prior intimate relationship and demands much of the mother’s attention, which can lead to jealousy. What are other marks of an unsafe caregiver? Childhelp, which operates a national child abuse hotline, offers these warning signs: • • • • • Violent and/or controlling with their partner or others Physically or verbally abusive with children Abuses alcohol or other drugs, including marijuana Uses prescription medications that have bad side effects or make them drowsy Not open and honest about what they did during the time with your child “If he has already been violent with the mother or she’s witnessed him being violent or aggressive with the child or another child – that’s a huge red flag,” Dr. Herr said. “The myth of domestic violence is that it is a one-time event and isn’t going to happen again.” Single mothers must have honest conversations with their boyfriends about the topic of child abuse. “To not address the fact that this is a high-risk situation is probably the biggest mistake that people can make,” Dr. Herr said. The mother should convey her expectations for how the boyfriend should respond to crying or potty training accidents and what kinds of discipline are acceptable. There should be a plan that allows the boyfriend to call for help if he is losing control. “It’s OK to set the child down in a safe place and walk away,” Dr. Herr said. “That’s preferable to shaking or hurting the child.” Furthermore, mothers can talk to their pediatricians about child care options or community resources like parenting education that boyfriends can access. If a mother notices any of the subtle signs of child abuse, she should act immediately to keep her child safe. Early recognit ion of abuse is key.  6 Bruising is an important warning sign of child abuse for infants and children. For a non-mobile infant, bruising of ANY KIND is not normal. For a child of any age, bruising to the ears, neck, torso, buttocks or genitals should raise concerns. If you see bruising, seek immediate medical attention for your infant or child. What Mothers Need to Know Cut out the information to the left and place it somewhere you will see it often. Vital Signs Volume 8 • Issue 1