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I see three choices in your situation:
1) You can continue on as you are now,
2) You can end the relationship,
3) You attempt to find a happy medium that satisfies your social appetites and allows her to keep some semblance of her 'passive contentedness.'
Obviously, in the case of Door #1, your issue remains to be addressed, and the frustration you feel now will invariably turn to resentment. It will be a long, slow death to your friendship, and some part of her will think its her fault when everything comes crashing down. If you have any compassion for this woman at all, and are thinking of choosing this path, then I strongly urge you to take Door #2, as even though it will hurt her, you will be sparing her far more pain and second-guessing in the long run.
But before you get all morose, realize Door #3 exists. It sounds like you're spending the majority of your time with this woman, and while that works for some people, it's been my experience in SL that the strongest relationships flourish the less reliant one or both parties are on the other. In RL, a healthy separation is built into relationships - you have both personal and professional reasons to not spend every waking moment with your significant other or spouse. But we only 'live' a few hours each day here in SL, and sometimes it's comfortable and convenient to spend that abbreviated 'day' with each other.
But as comfortable and nice as that can be in the short- to mid-term, it's untenable over the long term. You each need to have your own space and social circles, or eventually, someone (and in this case that person seems to be you) begins wondering what and who else is out there. One you start running out of things to talk about and do with each other, the seeds of boredom and resentment find root in your mind, and seldom do they grow into anything fruitful.
Now, it's not going to be an easy sell to convince your partner of this course of action, but you need to have a long chat with her where you tell her you're not happy. She'll invariably read it as your being bored of her, and by your own words, she won't be wrong. Quite frankly, I believe you've already built up quite a bit of bad vibes, and everything from this point will be uphill - but you're the one who has to decide if you still feel like climbing.
Best of luck to you both - you'll need it,
Advice Kitty
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