Communication in a Relationship
place. Don’t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem,
not winning an argument!
ate something acceptable to both parties, if this doesn’t
work - go back to step 1 and ensure both parties are being
totally honest.
2. Ask the other person to define the problem. Stick to solving one problem at a time, that way you can understand
each problem as the other person sees it.
8. Be sure both parties agree to work towards resolving the
issue.
3. Express your own feelings. Be careful to word them carefully, for example use phrases such as “I feel” rather than “I
think you”
Troubleshooting For Problems in
Communication
4. Define the problem as you see it. As your feelings come
out, the solution may become clearer. Remember that by
you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone
for them to listen to you.
Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot
take place if one person has “control” over the other or
where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the
underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.
5. Create multiple solutions. Don’t go back to your original
agenda. Aim to find alternative or creative solutions that reduce emotions and tension.
6. Rate the possible solutions. Remember that no one can
force an unacceptable solution on the other.
7. Combine and create a mutually acceptable solution. Cre-
Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct
confrontation. If you have a problem with someone, go directly to that person. Don’t dump your accusations on mutual friends or your children in the hope of winning support
to balance the scales in your favour - it leads to more substantial and long-lasting damage, especially when a child is
used as a weapon between parents.