Worst Fears by Paul Edward Fitzgerald
I’ve known some people in my day who
have made the gravely inaccurate assumption
that one who pursues a career in writing full time
as I have done must be someone who is either
lazy and doesn’t want to work or someone who is
simply trying to find a quick way to fame and
fortune. Not only are these assumptions offensive,
but they couldn’t be farther from the actual truth if
they deliberately tried to be. who are not you but maybe a little bit like you and
how they would handle the current situation. You
stop and think of where they could go with the
story if they could possibly do some of the things
you could never do and become the things you
aspire to be. And before you know it you find
yourself back jotting down these ideas and this
little person so much like you that’s living away
inside your head. Then, before you know it, the
empty spaces on the page seem to fill with a life
and world all their own. Sure, your head may be
throbbing and your eyes puffy and irritated; hell,
you may even develop premature arthritis in your
hands. But by God, you are writing!
Writing is most certainly work. One doesn’t
realize just how much work it is until they plop
themselves down in front of a blank computer
screen or sheet of loose leaf paper and stare at it
knowing if you want to succeed at this whole
writing thing that you have to fill every single
blank space with an entire universe and world
forged only through your own imagination; a
world that is filled with characters who must be
thought out, real people with real struggles,
dreams, heartaches, and aspirations. Once more the Stephen King’s, J.K.
Rowling’s, and yes, even the E.L. James’s of the
world begin to flash through your head. You see
your own name besides theirs in the lights. Movie
contracts and dollar signs fill your every thought
as you sit down and prepare your first, finished
draft to start making you money. You’ll self-
publish it, of course, to keep most of the
proceeds. Having decided this you next go to
Google to search up what step comes next in the
pro- cess to your millions.
And sometimes this task can become so
daunting and intimidating it is enough to make
you want to jump back into bed, pull the sheets
over your head, and cry because you think you’ve
made an absolute horrible mistake with your life
and no one will ever read, publish, or even
remotely like your work when the world is filled
with the Stephen King’s, J.K. Rowling’s, and even
the inexplicably popular E.L. James’s of the world. First comes professional editing, which is
not cheap at all but essential. So you’ll dip into
your savings and get it done; no big deal! Then
you see you need a cover designer...Which costs
more money. It’s okay though; your savings can
take another hit. As you browse around the
internet re- searching the publishing process you
inevitably come across the articles saying how the
majority of self-published writers only make a
pittance. The figures essentially state your
investment may not even break even if done
right. Perhaps, you decide, you are being greedy
to try and do it all yourself. Maybe signing with a
publishing house is the way to go. Random
House, Harper Collins... Who wouldn’t want your
masterpiece?
Worst Fears
By
Paul Edward Fitzgerald
As you lay under the sheets, however, and
think of how lowly the words that flow from your
pen are in comparison to the greats that have
come before you, you find your head filling up
rather quickly with these swirling ideas of not only
your own predicament, but of other individuals