“ It ’ s kind of like an orchestra playing ,” Stringer explained .
“ You want everybody on the same sheet of music so it all comes out the way it ’ s supposed to be . You can do 99 things right and sometimes families won ’ t remember that , but the one mistake that you make , that ’ s the one you get reminded of .”
While most of the hard work is put on the shoulders of the funeral home directors , they make family members ’ needs their priority .
“ We look at ourselves more as facilitators ,” Phelps said . “ Funeral directors are becoming facilitators more and more . We try to tell the story of the person who has died . The family has unique insights as to the life of that person , and we try and take what the family tells us , it with the public , and display it in the funeral ceremony as much as we can . Our emphasis is celebrating the life of the person who has died and facilitating whatever the family needs to do to make that happen . It ’ s all about the family and the deceased person .”
“ What you ’ re trying to do for families is to create a favorable memory picture ,” Stringer added . “ That ’ s the last picture that they ’ re going to remember . You want to hear , ‘ They look amazing . You guys did a great job .’ It ’ s an art , and that ’ s the rewarding part of the profession - that you ’ re able to help families in dealing with grief . Usually with a funeral , there is closure . That ’ s what you ’ re trying to help them achieve .”
Stringer says there is a trend toward more personalized funeral services these days . From video tributes to bringing personal items in to the chapel , funerals are not “ cookie cutter ” anymore , and Stringer believes that ’ s an improvement .
“ There ’ s a lot of stuff , and a ton of information , that a family doesn ’ t realize has to be taken by the funeral home in order to facilitate everything going smoothly , so that we can accommodate the family and make
Lisa Stephens , funeral director and office manager at Southern Oaks Funeral Home .
Photo submitted sure that the final ceremony of their loved one is carried out flawlessly and with dignity ,” Phelps said . “ And there is a business side too . The funeral process is a multi-fingered organism , and we wear many hats .”
Even after a funeral service has ended , funeral directors don ’ t see their work as being complete .
“ Our work doesn ’ t stop there ,” Phelps said . “ We have an active follow up program to make sure family members aren ’ t hung up somewhere emotionally , to make sure they ’ re progressing in a healthy manner .”
“ Our time and dedication to the family doesn ’ t stop at the cemetery or following the service ,” Hibbard echoed . “ We ’ re still available any time of day , day or night , to that family moving forward .”
Dealing with death on a daily basis would seemingly cause emotional distress , but good funeral directors somehow find a balance of compassion and professionalism that benefits grieving families while sparing their own sanity .
“ We ’ re here to provide compassion during that time , and that ’ s what is important , but also we have to step back and be emotionally strong for the
10 Commonwealth Journal - Unsung Heroes - 2024