Somerset Undertaking owner , funeral director and embalmer Alan Stringer , left , and fellow funeral director Eric Barnes at a recent visitation in Somerset .
Photo by Tricia Neal lost a loved one . And we have to stay in the present moment as best as we can and focus on care of those who are grieving .”
“ We are a 24 / 7 business ,” Lange agreed . “ Whether it ’ s 1:00 in the morning , 5:00 in the morning , 2:00 in the afternoon , we are getting and going to help people . You drop what you ’ re doing and you go .
“ It ’ s a very selfless business . If there is a death at 3:00 in the morning , and if it ’ s at the hospital and the family is waiting for you , you get out of bed from being sound asleep , and in 20 minutes you ’ re at the hospital talking to people that just lost somebody , trying to minister to them .”
“ It can be very grueling ,” Lange continued . “ If you don ’ t watch it , you can get burned out .”
And dedicated funeral directors don ’ t seem to have the word “ no ” in their vocabularies .
“ If somebody knows me , they want me there ,” Lange said .
Lange spoke of fellow funeral director and owner Billy Coner , who also puts in long hours and wouldn ’ t have it any other way .
“ He ’ s a well-liked man ,” Lange said of Coner . “ We ’ ve got two funerals tomorrow , and they ’ re both friends of his . He ’ s 71 years old , and I ’ m like , ‘ Billy , you ’ ve got to take it easy . You don ’ t want to push yourself too hard .’ And he says , ‘ These people expect to see me .’ He wants to be there for them too .”
Stephens echoed others ’ feelings about the grueling hours that come with the job .
“ You may be up twice during the night , and then you ’ re back in here at 8:00 the next morning to work because no matter what , we ’ re still here 8:00 to 5:00 and it doesn ’ t matter if you got any rest at night or not ,” she said . “ Sometimes you ’ re exhausted , but that ’ s a part of the calling . You just go with it . You don ’ t think , ‘ I ’ ve not had any sleep in two days .’ You ’ re just concerned about getting the family through the most difficult time of their life .”
“ Death is not a respecter of time or person ,” Phelps said . “ So when it does occur and a family reaches out to a funeral home , they expect someone to be there regardless . So someone is here 24 / 7 . When I say ‘ here ,’ I don ’ t mean physically here , but they ’ re accessible .”
After hours and on weekends , most funeral homes have answering services to which calls are forwarded so that families can speak to someone at any hour .
Being a funeral director involves much more than many people realize .
Much of the work is done “ behind the scenes .”
“ People I hire are always shocked at how much work we do behind the scenes ,” Lange said . “ People see you with your suit and tie on , driving the car . They don ’ t know how much work we did preparing for that part .”
“ There are about 135 details that have to be taken care of before you can have a funeral ,” said Stringer .
From composing a perfect obituary to choosing the date and time for the service , from helping families choose music and other details to be incorporated into the service to filling out a death certificate , from embalming or cremating the body to coordinating with a hairstylist for the deceased , from scheduling a minister for the funeral to contacting cemeteries to arrange burials , each detail has to be considered and planned out before the funeral service and burial take place .
Commonwealth Journal - Unsung Heroes - 2024 9