family that ’ s standing in front of us ,” Hibbard continued . “ I have compassion and empathy for every family that we serve . But finding that balance of being able to take care of a family and being able to walk away from that situation and live your life is ultimately important . Otherwise you ’ re not going to be in a good psychological position to be able to take care of families moving forward .”
Lange admits to wearing his heart on his sleeve at times , and that ’ s not a negative quality to have as a funeral director .
“ Who you bury , most of the time , is people you know – friends and acquaintances ,” he said . “ People will say , ‘ We called you because we know you , and we know you ’ re going to take good care of us ,’ so that makes it a little bit harder emotionally . You ’ re dealing with people who are losing people in all different circumstances . I ’ m an emotional funeral director . I ’ m a people person . That ’ s always been my strength – working with people and helping people . I become very good friends with the family that ’ s surviving after I do arrangements for them . I ’ m pretty strong emotionally . I ’ ve been doing this for a long time , almost 40 years , and I ’ m still a softie with people . People ask , ‘ Do you get a thick skin after so many years ?’ I really don ’ t .”
The sense of compassion and empathy seems to stand out even more once a funeral director has walked in the shoes of their clients . Losing someone close to you tends to shine a light on what a terrible experience it is .
“ You ’ re losing someone you ’ re never going to be able to see again , never going to be able to spend another moment with again ,” Hibbard said . “ Having lost a lot of my own immediate family members , I know what the family is going through , and I know it ’ s hard . I empathize with those families . I guess that ’ s what makes me want to be there for them and let them know that we are here to help them .”
“ When I make arrangements with families , I let them know that I can step outside any time ,” Stephens said . “ If I see a that a family is having a hard time or that they ’ re not able to answer questions at that time , I let them know that I can step outside , and give them some time to get themselves together before we proceed . I always let them know , when I see somebody is having a hard time , that I ’ ve sat where they are sitting before . I ’ ve buried my father . I ’ ve buried a niece .
“ Sometimes I ’ ve sat and cried with them . This is not a place they want to come to . I know they don ’ t want to be here . So I do what I can to help get
Thank You First Responders
Commonwealth Journal - Unsung Heroes - 2024 11