The Whole You Issue 4, December 2016 | Page 8

Nurture is Valuable: Marriage When you think of your most significant relationship, what words come to mind? Do you have mostly positive associations or do you immediately think of frustrations and ways you would like your partner to change and improve? It’s key to recognize that everyone’s marriage is different. And when I use the word “marriage” I’m referring to any committed love relationship between any two consenting adults. No two life partnerships are alike. We’ve all traveled different roads to arrive at our current relationships, but one thing is for sure: nurture plays a big part in marriage. Without a sense of care and affection, our marriages would be cold and empty. The vows many people choose at their weddings carry some wording about loving and caring for one another. We fall in love and then make a promise to look after one another for the rest of our lives. But what does this really mean? How does it play out on a day-to-day basis? I believe intimacy is a sacred entity. It’s mysterious; secretive to anyone outside of the union. Vulnerability works best in the quiet moments between two souls. It’s not meant to be public. Unfortunately, we live in a world consumed with oversharing. We have social media accounts where we photograph our lunch, artfully prepared and lit as if it’s a magazine cover instead of a meal we are consuming alone at our scuffed-up kitchen table. We poll our friends publicly on Facebook about how our spouse irritates us and we solicit outside advice on handling conflict with the person we pledged to spend our life with. We can only nurture another person as well as we nurture ourselves. If we are missing out on self-care, we will tend to resent