The Whole You Issue 4, December 2016 | Page 20

Every one of us must navigate difficult situations, relationships and decisions. We live in a world with information and advice bombarding us from all directions. How about a bit of gentle encouragement and support instead? Dear Julianne’s Joy, I had a great friend for over a decade. Then it felt like she started taking me for granted. She bailed on all our plans at the last minute and put everything before our friendship. By the time I confronted her with how I felt, I was bitter and resentful towards her. She was totally shocked and adamant she wanted to work on our friendship, but when we planned to get together, she bailed again. I told her I was done and I didn’t want to hear from her. Over a year has passed and now she wants to reconcile again. I miss our friendship, but I can’t seem to move past the hurt, anger and resentment I feel. How can I just let it go and reach out in a positive way? Angry & Resentful Dear Angry & Resentful, A good friend once said to me, “You don’t owe your friendship to anyone”. It is a gift, and it is always your choice who you give it to. When relationships become unbalanced, like yours was, anger and resentment grows because that is a reasonable response when you are doing the heavy lifting and the other person is coasting. It’s possible that your friend has changed over the last year. It’s also possible that she is exactly the same, and you will end up at the bottom of her priority list. It’s up to you if you want to try offering up your friendship again to see if it is a more positive experience for you. Keep your antenna up and watch to make sure her words