everyday chore, and all my time was consumed with getting high, and I soon lost my jobs, and the positive persons in my life, my significant other and newborn son. Not only did that occurred, but I started to enter the revolving doors of the court system again. I became abusive physically and verbally to those around me, who cared and loved me.
I was given an alternative either enter a rehab and an anger management program or loss my family. I agreed, but I was still in DENIAL, I don’t have a problem, it’s always the other person at fault,” I complete both programs successfully. But in reality ,I was just as bad as I was before I went through those programs. I endured for awhile still in DENIAL with my emotions and psychiatric illness my abusive behaviors resurfaced, causing my family to leaving me due to my abusive behaviors.
Months went by and I continued in my drinking and using crack cocaine daily, feeling hopeless with nowhere to go. My significant other stayed in contact with me by the grace of God, cause I was a mess, I cried out, “please come and take me away from this madness , it’s a sess-pool here in this city. Hell that’s the only people I know after all I was a convicted drug dealer. She did and I stop using for the time being, the change of environment was good for me. And I began looking for work again .
Shortly after was hired to work at a factory with benefits and great salary and location was ideal too, even had a beautiful home the whole nine yards. Things went well for awhile again. But still having that stinking thinking my psychological and the social environment caused me to relapse back into my old behaviors of drinking, drugging, physically and verbally abusive again, to people whom loved and cared for me with all of their heart and soul. “The sudden lost of my mother and cousin, who was murdered due to his drug using, there death was especially stressful for me. And I just buried the pain of their lost deeper and deeper inside on top of the sexual abuse trust and abandonment issues and the thought of not being a father to the