Grief
Pastoral Care
There is no right way to grieve. We all grieve our losses in our own way. We tend to think of loss as the death of a person
dear to us. But all losses bring profound sadness whether it is the loss of a spouse, job, pet or home.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross talks of the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. While this
process can be helpful, we don’t need to go through all of these steps in order to complete bereavement. And ‘complete’
doesn’t mean we forget or don’t continue to feel sadness. Complete means that our sadness doesn’t interfere with our
daily life tasks. The tearing apart of our heart doesn’t go on forever. At this time we may become more reflective, taking
stock of our own life.
I have found George Bonanno’s book The Other Side of Sadness most helpful. He talks about our resilience, our ability to
bounce back. About 33% to 50% of bereaved people recover within a year. The Mental Health diagnostic manual states
that if a person stays stuck in their sadness and cannot function for over two months then there is reason to consider it a
Major Depression.
Most of us suffer and have profound depression at the time of a loss but we gradually recover and put the pieces back together. I think our support in this church community helps us to be a bit more resilient. With help, we can accommodate
to loss and continue to live our lives and love those present.
— Betsy Raymond
Would you like to visit or receive a visit?
Five or six years ago, under the leadership of Mary Johnson, I enjoyed being a parish visitor. Steve White and I visited
Frances Grillo and Pat Bourgois. We had a great time with these women. But unfortunately, through death and moves, the
committee dwindled.
This summer with seminarian Kate Byrd and our Interim Rector Carol Spigner, we revamped the program. Carol had the
great idea that all visits need not be in person, but could also be by phone. We have a good group of both vistors and visitees, but we can use more. If you would like to be a part of this program, please contact Jo Belser or me.
— Betsy Raymond
Our Healing Ministry
For more than four years, a dedicated group of Church of the Resurrection members have participated in the laying on of
hands and praying for spiritual healing during the Eucharist on the last Sunday of each month. Prayer is central to our
ministry, and not just on “healing Sundays.”
We sign a covenant with our rector, interim rector and now our priest in charge. Five of the seven items in this covenant
address prayer. We promise to:
? Pray daily for the healing ministry and for each other by name,
? Attend corporate worship regularly,
? Pray together before each healing service for those we will be serving and for that day’s ministers that we may be
conduits of the Holy Spirit,
? If we are not serving as ministers on a healing Sunday, sit together near the chapel and pray during the laying on of
hands,
? Continue to develop our personal spiritual awareness by regular prayer, meditation and study.
The remaining two covenant items address confidentiality and our continuing formation in the healing ministry.
At Resurrection, prayers for healing and laying on of hands take place in the context of the Holy Eucharist. We come forward to the healing stations before going to Communion and then receive the body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Or, as The Rev. Carol Spigner said in a recent sermon, “We first open our hearts and minds to God’s healing presence and
then receive the holy sacrament to fill us with Christ’s holy and life-giving body and blood.”
Each of us invites you to experience the healing power of the Holy Spirit for yourself or a loved one through prayer and
the laying on of hands. Whatever you say to the healing minister is held in strictest confidence. Look at the prayers for
“Ministration to the Sick” in the Book of Common Prayer, pp. 456-457. May God’s grace and healing power be with each of
us. Amen.
— Beth Wiggers
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