correspondence
16
Dr robert yarlett
Scientist in the Spotlight
Hello Dr Yarlett, thanks for your time. To start, what is your full title and what is your specialist field?
Well it’s not just Dr. for a start. Do your research before interviewing a renowned Scientist! It’s Sir Professor Robert Yarlett PhD. I was awarded a professorship for my contribution to Science before I completed my PhD, and knighted shortly after graduating for my revolutionary discoveries on the relationships of corals with their algal symbionts. My specialist field is Science. Some people confuse me for a Marine Scientist but I have publications in nearly all fields.
2 years ago, in SJIS III(1), you published a ground-breaking article entitled ‘Corals have relationship issues’. Care to elaborate?
No.
Keen readers may have noticed that you own several scientific companies (Yarlett Inc, Yarlifuge Technologies Ltd. etc). How do you find the time to conduct top class scientific research, as well as getting absolutely minted?
There was one day when I was wondering the same thing… I was working 24/7. There were just not enough hours in the day! Then I remembered an article I read in Volume V Issue I of SJIS about the invention of the time machine. I carefully followed the authors’ methodology and built my own. It was fairly easy actually, I can’t believe I hadn’t invented one myself! Now I have time to do everything!
Why is your head so small? Does it reflect the size of your brain? Does this affect your science in any way?
Well if you’d read any of publications you’d know the quality of my work is beyond even the most respected of fellow Scientists.
Dear Barbara,
We have quite clearly explained that given the option, the ladies who come through the SJIS HQ just like to have sexy photos taken. As soon as women start publishing research instead of looking very sexy, we’ll stop taking pictures of them. Of course, in an ideal world women would discover hidden mysteries whilst looking rather sexy. Perhaps you could be the first, Barbara? In the meantime, you will see in this issue we have made the effort to objectify sexy men instead.
Dear SJIS
Stop dancing around the subject. You are promoting the objectification of women, whilst giving feeble excuses for doing so, and I suspect the only reason you have such a following is because of such outdated, disgusting marketing tactics.
Barbara.
Dear SJIS
You purport to be the ultimate scientific authority of all things and yet you continually ignore the big questions. Religion must be taught alongside science (but obviously science shouldn't be taught alongside religion) so our children get to hear both sides. What say you?
Adam.
Dear Adam,
No.