Sex & Intimacy in the Pink
1. Intimacy: Many women have a hard time looking at themselves after breast cancer surgeries and treatments, and they don’ t want their partner to see them naked. This is heart-wrenching, and a scary part of the roller coaster ride. There can be grief, sadness, fear and lots of other feelings about how your body looks now, as well as how it functions. How to find the balance?
2. Sexuality: Your body may not work in the same way as before, especially if you have experienced meno-
Sex & Intimacy in the Pink
Intimacy, Sexuality and Relationship Balance
Tools to Maintain your Grip on the Roller Coaster Ride
Let’ s face it, cancer is a roller coaster ride filled with unexpected twists, turns, dips and climbs. All sorts of challenges arise and life can feel very out of balance. Let’ s explore some ways to find or regain balance in your intimate, sexual and relationship life.
1. Intimacy: Many women have a hard time looking at themselves after breast cancer surgeries and treatments, and they don’ t want their partner to see them naked. This is heart-wrenching, and a scary part of the roller coaster ride. There can be grief, sadness, fear and lots of other feelings about how your body looks now, as well as how it functions. How to find the balance?
The mirror is your friend. This may sound counterintuitive, but stay with me. The mirror can be a powerful tool for accepting, healing and loving your body as it is now. And it’ s something you can share with you sweetheart, which will create deeper intimacy. Try this practice:
• Stand naked in front of a full-length mirror. Look into your eyes and breathe. After a few deep breaths, gently lower your gaze to look at your breasts or chest. Imagine that you are looking through the eyes of love at your dearest friend as she sees herself as she is now, radically changed by cancer treatments. Be kind and gentle and say out loud,“ I love you( your first name).” Let all the feelings arise and continue to say the words.
• Invite your partner to stand behind you with his or her hands on your shoulders, looking into your eyes with great love and kindness and witness you as you say,“ I love you” to yourself. Invite him / her to say the same words to you as they look at your body. This is a very powerful healing practice. My suggestion is that you do this daily for a month or two and make it a sacred practice of love and intimacy.
2. Sexuality: Your body may not work in the same way as before, especially if you have experienced meno-
Summer 2013 THE PINK PAPER
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