The Mistery of Belicena Villca speculations . But , I repeated to myself , what organizations could I turn to for help ? Masonry , Theosophy , Anthroposophy , Martinism , the Rosicrucians , the Gnostics , and other Secret Societies still more occult , but of the same synarchic nature , are in essential opposition to the Hyperborean Wisdom , it was clear to me now . And so , no matter how hard I thought and went through the list of all known organizations , always concluded that they were at least suspected of belonging to the White Brotherhood , the hidden super-organization enemy of the House of Tharsis . Oh dilemma ! There was a Secret Society of Hyperborean Initiates in Argentina , an Order of Wise Builders , as Belicena revealed in her letter , but no one knew where They were or how to get to Them ; I would try to find them , but I was fully aware that hundreds , perhaps thousands , of Synarchy agents would be waiting for someone to approach to execute him without mercy . I doubted if I could undertake this quest alone and so I examined the possibility of resorting to some organization " friend " of the Hyperborean Wisdom to request help . However , I repeat , no matter how much I thought , I did not find the solution : is it that the Hyperborean Wisdom did not have supporters in this world ? The answer seemed to be " no "; at least it didn ' t have socially organized followers ; or I was unaware of the existence of any similar organization .
Chapter V
My only ally --I thought at the beginning of the reflection-- is discernment . He will tell me where to turn , who to trust . If there is any philosophical or religious line related , he will allow me to discover it ; he will tell me if its " good or bad ” and how to resort to it .
But the analysis carried out after deep meditation , produced a chilling conclusion : as I eliminated possibilities , all the organizations were on one side ( enemy ) and none on the other .
As much as I tried to manicheanly polarize the myriad of Religions , Sects , Associations , Secret Societies , Organizations , Groups , Orders , Leagues , Brotherhoods and Fraternities , I could not discern about even one that held a ray of Uncreated Light , a flash of the Primordial Truth of the Spirit . However , if all that Belicena Villca affirmed about the Origin of the Uncreated Spirit was true , if the Spirit could only experience hostility towards this World , towards the Judaic Culture that today predominates in this World , the result of my reflections would not be strange . On the contrary , it would be rather logical that being the White Fraternity about to achieve the Universal Synarchy , as in the XIII century , there was only one organization of Initiates in the Hyperborean Wisdom . Yes : in the same way as in the XIII century the Circulus Domini Canis opposed the White Fraternity ' s plans , perhaps now only existed the Order of Wise Builders of the Lord of the Absolute Orientation .
– So , – I said to myself desolate , feeling that an anguish , very similar to terror , rose from the stomach to the throat-- then I must not expect any concrete help to fulfill my mission . I am left to my own forces ! --I had trouble accepting this .
The mission proposed by Belicena was clearly a task that required the performance of a superior man , of someone fitted with much more than I was counting at the time . If I was sure of one thing , however , it was that the spiritual help would be essential to fulfill the mission . But the help , according to my recent conclusions , should not be expected from human organizations : there could be no intermediaries between the spiritual and Me . It was thus evident that the spiritual help would have to manifest itself directly within me ; that God , or the " Liberator Gods ", or my own Spirit , Eternal , Uncreated , Infinite , if they responded to the request for help , they would have to do it in the deepest part of my psychic intimacy .
For a while now I had felt a kind of choking , a tightness in my chest to which I did not give much importance , because I attributed it to the torrid February . This presumption soon faded , since Salta nights are usually quite cool , even in summer , and that was no exception . I noticed it immediately when I opened the window : I saw the park dimly lit by the 4 o ' clock twilight , while a cold breeze forced me to close the shutter . Standing next to the window , strangely suffocated by an unknown anguish , I awkwardly thought that in a few more minutes it would dawn .
A sensation of cosmic solitude had filled me little by little , without noticing it , and finally managed to penetrate to the bottom of my soul . For an instant I thought that the previous analysis had solipsistically isolated me from the World ; or , in other words , that the Manichean polarization to which I subjected the human organizations , had unconsciously continued to jump through categories to a confrontation : Me and the World . This could be due to my instinctive rejection of the material . But it was not like that , because when I thought about my friends , my family , the beings that I admire , I immediately sensed the spiritual power in them . And the familiar feeling of joy that the spiritual inspires me , made my body vibrate . Yes ; I was able to intuit the Spirit in some beings and therefore was not really alone . The heartbreaking loneliness I felt now --I thought quickly-- was not the product of a pathological deviation such as those which in their melancholy usually suffer the selfish solipsists .
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