REAL LIFE
by Antony Simpson
Paul, a 51 years old father from
London, England. Paul has two
now-adult children his son
David, 25 years old and his
daughter Janet, 23 years old. He
was concerned about the impact
of telling their story and asked
for their identities to be
protected. So throughout this
article pseudo names are used
for both the parents and the
children.
PAUL’S STORY
THEGAYUK APRIL/MAY ISSUE 3
2014
Coming Out
To The Kids
Tell us, how did you Come Out to your
children?
It’s very complex. My ex-wife, the mother of
David and Janet, and I had been unhappy for
about 5 years. I had met somebody who at
the time was just a friend, but he wasn’t the
reason my ex-wife and I separated. It was
actually she who said: ‘Look I think it’s time
we separated.’
I didn’t protest too much, as I knew we had
both been unhappy, and I had the support of
someone else – who happened to be male. I
moved out of the family home and went and
stayed with him. I rented a home on my own,
and we saw more of each other, then a year
later we bought a house together. We want ed
somewhere big enough for the children to
come and stay. It was very important for me
that I could see David and Janet.
The children were gradually introduced to
him as a friend. It always crossed my mind –
do I tell David and Janet that he was my
partner or do we just go on? David and Janet
just accepted him and they liked him, they
felt included and it felt like a family unit.
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They were happy because they felt
loved and that’s what children want.
Over time, our circumstances
changed, we had a series of stressful
events happen to both of us. We lost
the house and ended up renting a
small house. We just grew apart and
eventually split up. I got a lodger in
to help pay the rent. This lodger also
happened to be gay. He had a
boyfriend and all was good.
Then about a year later, I met this chap
who was twenty-seven. I had dated one
or two other men before, around my
own age, but the lodger didn’t like this
chap and tensions resulted in my asking
the lodger to leave. I gave him his
month’s notice. David at this time was
travelling abroad and Janet was at
university.
The lodger left without paying me his
final month’s rent, which came as no
particular surprise. But then I noticed
he’d stolen something - a DVD player. I
texted him asking him to return the
item but got no reply
The Police came, took my statement
and made contact with the lodger, and
it was then that the lodger texted Janet,
my daughter, along the lines of:
“you’ll want to know your dad’s the
stereotypical gay, get c*ck at any cost
and has had a string of over 60
boyfriends. I would think twice about
sleeping under your dad’s roof because
he’s a psychopath who’s likely to stab
you.”