YLD
President ’ s
COLUMN
Remembering Relationships in Times of Trial
As a lawyer , and particularly as a trial lawyer , the default mode of communicating from 9-to-5 is often adversarial . Writing this after my first trial of 2022 , I ’ m still coming down from the competitive high that is trial advocacy . While that mode can make a lot of headway for our clients , and it ’ s a mode that is essential as a tool for litigation , using more loving modes of communication can bring huge value to both our clients and our community .
In that spirit , a book I return to again and again this time of year is
Teachings on Love by Thich Nhat Hahn ( known more affectionately as Thay ). Thay is a Buddhist monk , poet , and activist for peace and the environment . He has written dozens of books that center around mindfulness and living a good , ethical life . My favorites include The Miracle of Mindfulness , The Blooming of a Lotus , and Living Buddha , Living Christ . All of his books have a poetic wisdom that I appreciate , and I learn something new every time I open them .
In case you think he ’ s a little out of the box , I ’ m not Thay ’ s only fan . For instance , Martin Luther King , Jr . nominated Thay for the
Nobel Peace Prize in 1967 . Dr . King knew the centrality of love , even when faced with obvious , systemic , in-your-face injustice . As he said in his inimitable way : “ Love is the greatest force in the universe . It is the heartbeat of the moral cosmos .” So , the words of Thay , a man MLK Jr . thought worthy of distinction for the Nobel Peace Prize , are worth visiting .
Teachings on Love starts by defining the different forms of love in our life . For Thay , the primary meaning of love is friendship . This first face of love is to know someone so well that when you interact with them , you know that you are bringing them joy . I think about this face of love with my best friends and family . Being able to put down work and try to delight the people in my life makes life worth living .
The second face of love for Thay is compassion . Compassion in this sense is based on lifting and transforming suffering , rather than the more ecstatic joy . It is also about transforming suffering without being swallowed whole by it . I think about this principle when counseling clients in practice . Dealing with catastrophically injured people , or family members who have someone near and dear to them suffering , holds the risk of dragging me down emotionally . But like the best doctors , the practice of true compassion is to transform the suffering in someone and not take it on yourself . If we get swallowed whole with the suffering of another , we aren ’ t able to actually help . This requires knowing your audience while remaining at peace .
8 | THE DOCKET - FEBRUARY 2022