The
COMMITTED to not believe in the concept of falling in love. Nobody ever taught me how I’ d experience my first period, I wasn’ t allowed to say out loud. I wasn’ t allowed to play outside with my peers for an entire summer, because I simply didn’ t have proper clothing that was quote unquote ethical to go out with. I would wear layers, of sweaters and jackets to hide myself in boiling hot weather. I was ashamed of what I’ d become, I was mad that I had to sit at home as I heard the echo of my friends’ laughter. That was the first time I experienced being alone because of simply growing up. I’ m grateful that today, kids can access all types of clothing to go out comfortably. Only dilemma being that children don’ t play out on streets anymore. Ironic, isn’ t it? What was once so far away isn’ t even an option anymore. One of the things about change is you can never fully wrap your head around it, only after do you realise the difference.
Do you think things are better now?
In many ways, yes. People believe in love and listening to their gut as you kids would say. There’ s more language for feelings, more information, and more permission to talk. But every generation has its own pressures. I remember when my mother once used her green eye pencil and pink lipstick. I hated the idea that my mom wanted to be prettier, she was always beautiful. I think the challenge now is learning to listen to your body instead of comparing it to others. Do whatever makes you feel good, now I know makeup is a way of self-expression, not a way of painting a sculpture for the public eye. Although it makes me very happy that young girls are able to learn this at a young age. With traditional parents and family, only in university did I gain my own life. My own set of rules and my own instinct instead of what was once imposed on me. As my father once advised, go to school and gain your own gold bracelet. The gold bracelet symbolises your investment for yourself.
If you could tell your younger self something, what would it be?
I’ d tell her that change isn’ t something to fear or hide. It’ s a sign that you’ re alive and growing. Her body isn’ t a problem to solve, but a story unfolding over time. I’ d also tell her to set bigger goals and aim higher. I’ m proud of how far I’ ve come, even as I still carry small regrets like wishing I’ d danced ballet or played volleyball when I was a child. Those wishes remind me that growth never really stops.
Today, I see my mom using her green and blue eye pencils, her different shades of lipstick. They remind me that choice itself is a kind of freedom. My grandmother needed only one shade, because one was all that was allowed. Now, colour reflects possibility. The world is so different from what it once was, and we’ ve changed with it. Although we still face traditional“ laws” deeply rooted in our society, we’ ve learned to question them, reshape them, and sometimes gently let them go. Change does not erase tradition; it asks us to look at it with new eyes.