TED RÖNESANS COLLEGE / 11-D
Interview with Mom
Deniz KAYA ‣
166
We change with every breath we take. We change with every day we live. We’ re never constant, yet not infinite. We can be counted and defined, as organisms who have a purpose. Yet we cannot be moulded, our minds consisting of countless possibilities. We live in great fear yet tend to let our spine carry the weight, preventing us from flying. I’ m every one of these things I’ ve counted, and many more. I remember things I’ ve experienced from an early age, from infancy to being a young adult. I’ ve faced inequality and displacement along the way, where I realised at an early age what we face as women, and what I was going to be challenged for the rest of my life. And the generation after that, and so on. So, I decided to ask my mother, the generation beforehand, the prejudices that she had versed. unaware and scared of what’ s yet to come when we start growing up.
What do you mean by“ change”?
Technology was developing, faster than anything our parents would have imagined. Yet we were still a traditional family. My family wasn’ t into all the new developments, cultural change and all. For example, when I was a kid, I wanted to do ballet, yet my mother could never take me. Not only because we couldn’ t afford another social activity other than school, but because my family didn’ t understand why an extracurricular activity would be necessary in the first place.
Mom, you were born in the 1970s how was it like to grow up back then and to express yourself?
It was very different than it is today. We wouldn’ t have water at home, only at a specific given time. I remember our family, my sister, father, mother and I would wake up in rounds to shower. Of course, we all had to shower fast, so that the water wouldn’ t run out. We didn’ t have washing machines either, we’ d wash our clothes by hand. The first time we had a TV that was coloured, rather than a black and white was in 1980, I can easily say seeing a screen with colour was one of the most memorable moments of my life. Also, awareness of terms like gender inequality was almost non-existent. Parents urged their daughters to behave, be well mannered and ladylike. Change happened, but mostly in silence. We weren’ t taught about anything, completely
I was growing up as well, puberty struck when I was about 12, I started getting taller, developing curves, or starting periods. No one really explained much. You were just expected to deal with it and not complain. I remember feeling confused and sometimes embarrassed, even though it was completely normal. I just had to wrap my head around as to why these things were happening, I asked questions that would go unanswered until I was in university learning about my own identity.
Did people talk about women’ s bodies in a positive way? How did it make you feel about being yourself, or selfexpression?
What most parents did was arranged marriage, so from what I’ ve seen everything was a formality. We were made