18 | Tees Business
“The Headlight Project is
about going forward, for
everyone. It came together so
organically and then the name
– and the headlights logo –
shining a way through.”
Together - Catherine is determined to
achieve positive change from losing
Russ in such tragic circumstances.
“We had a lovely life and I thought
‘This just can’t happen, this just has not
happened’. But it can and it does, it can
happen to anyone.”
We are sitting in Catherine’s kitchen-diner
for our interview and evidence of Russ is all
around, not least in the picture wall bursting
with happy family photographs. Getting
the words out to explain something so
devastating must take an inordinate amount
of inner strength and although her voice
catches with emotion, it is clear Catherine
has that quality.
Suicide, she says, just had not figured on
her radar until the moment it affected her
family and it is so very important to her that
her daughters – and others affected by it –
do not feel ashamed at the word.
The irony is, four months after Russ’s
death, an HSE investigation into the
accident that triggered the chain of events
found there was nothing that could have
been done to prevent it.
Catherine, who lives in Hutton Rudby,
continues: “I remember searching the
internet after Russ died just trying to find
a story like his and wondering if there was
some kind of support group. Something for
other families affected by suicide.
“Then I remember thinking people are
going to think he was unhappy at work or
unhappy at home or unhappy in our family
life. It wasn’t any of that. I didn’t want to
feel ashamed. I know him, I know what he
was like as a person, which is why this was
so tragic. It was a terrible accident, I don’t
want our children to be ashamed of what
happened.
“Suicide goes against every fibre of your
being – he must have been so poorly and
thought that was the only answer. He was
petrified of heights, ordinarily he would not
have gone near the viaduct.”
Picking up the pieces has been tough. As
news of the incident travelled, she didn’t
want the girls hearing about it from anyone
else and so sat down with them to explain
what had happened as best she could.
The postman would arrive every day with
bundles of cards and flowers, she says,
and the house was so full of sadness as
she strove to keep them going in familiar
routines with the help of a fantastic family
and friends support network.
There were times when she was so low,
she did not know how she’d get through.
“Six weeks after Russ died I felt so
desperate and I remember saying to my