them a good financial plan the conflict would go away, but it didn’ t.
Because the arguments are rarely about money itself instead they are about deeper relationship issues like trust, respect, and connection.
Most of us assume our spouse thinks about money the way we do, but in 75 % of marriages that is not true. Your spouse’ s view about money is different, but that does not make it wrong.
Respect your spouse’ s real feelings, concerns, and goals for your money. Have you asked them lately how they’ re feeling about your finances? Respect their honest opinion. Respect their difference.
3. Don’ t forget the fun stuff – dream together! This costs nothing, but really pays off. Dream together.
You work hard for your money. What would you really love to do with some of it?
As we age we sometimes forget how to dream. But consider this a fully grownup assignment: dream about your future. Would you like to take a class? Take a missions trip? Start a business? Travel? Own a vintage automobile? Try to surf? Start a scholarship fund?
When couples dream together, they move forward together.
You can jot down some short-term
8 • Solutions and long-term dreams for you as a couple, as a family, and as individuals. Whatever your dreams are, talk about them and start planning for them monthly.
4. When( not if) you disagree about money, be nice. It doesn’ t cost anything to be kind. When you talk about money make an extra effort to be nice. Sound simple? Try it.
We like to encourage our clients to“ fight fair”. We would love to say that people who set aside a regular time to discuss money and then respect each other’ s differences never fight about money again. BUT that’ s not usually a reality.
Respecting one another doesn’ t mean you suddenly agree about everything, so you may find yourselves heading straight into another fight about money. But if you do disagree, do so respectfully. Arguments about money hurt us like very few other fights do. It feels intensely personal. We feel attacked and get defensive.
Angry, hurtful words are like toothpaste – once it is out in the open, it’ s impossible to put back in.
5. Find your common ground. Couples disagree. Some days, often. But there is always something you can agree on. Find your common ground. Some days it may take longer to find it, but it is worth taking the time.