Solutions April 2018 | Page 7

pick a day once a month to discuss bigger issues and larger goals. hate it, that won’t change anytime soon, but the way you talk about money can. If you know Wednesday nights while the kids are at church you’re going to touch base with your spouse about money, you don’t have to “ruin” a perfectly good Monday talking about coffee trip expenses or the rising cost of the gym membership. What we see over and over again is couples who are caught up in a cycle of assumptions, misunderstanding, and blame. And knowing you will discuss bigger concerns or questions once a month (like every 1st or 15th) ensures that neither spouse feels like they’re in the dark about what’s going on financially or that they will be nagged to death about it. Putting some money “dates” on the calendar lets everyone breath easier and it makes everyone happier. “ Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.” Proverbs 27:23-24 NIV 2. R-E-S-P-E-C-T your differences. As you spend the time working together on your financial future remember to respect one another. You were not made the same. Your minds do not work the same (no newsflash there, huh). If he enjoys spending money and you It doesn’t matter if they have a healthy bank account or are deep in debt, because money isn’t the problem. Their lack of understanding and respecting each other is. As if making money isn’t hard enough, fighting about the money or feeling like you’re not being heard is even harder. It took us years to see this, not only in our marriage, but in our work. We had been in the financial planning business for a decade before we realized that something wasn’t working. We would meet with couples, put together airtight financial plans for them and still see them fighting, stressing out, and even divorcing because of their financial issues. We thought that once we gave Solutions • 7