going to be very comfortable leading
the household – a great positive. He
may be challenged when his Palm Tree
daughter is a teen who does not want
to be led in the way he likes to lead. She
will probably prefer to try things out for
herself. The Pine Tree siblings will likely
get along well because they’re both
more about the people than the task at
hand; more laid back than driven and
happy with a flexible schedule instead
of a fixed plan. As the parents grapple
for control and the kids wiggle out
of the restraints, all four of them will
learn to flex, to pray, to trust, to earn
trust and to make space for the “weird
ones” they live with. All four will have
the benefit of these lessons as they
deal with personality types outside of
the family who act just like their family
members!
My son (a Boxwood Tree and Pine Tree
combination – considerate, careful
and steady) once said to me, “Mom it’s
a good thing you exercised such strict
Rose Bush authority over me growing
up. I bet I could handle the toughest
boss I’ll ever face someday because
of it.” Inwardly, I thought, it’s a good
thing God gave me someone who is as
set in his thinking as you are, to remind
me that it is not a godly goal to change
people’s minds for them.
The story of Kind David and his
sons illustrate how neglecting
temperament differences can erode a
parent-child relationship. King David’s
personality type made it hard for him
to be uncompromisingly principled.
He followed his heart instead. When
Amnon, his oldest son, raped his half-
sister Tamar, David couldn’t find it in
his heart to punish Amnon. Absalom,
his go-getter son, who valued honor
Solutions • 13