in the name of firm parenting “ for our own good .” Hebrews 12 , a key passage about Biblical discipline , states our parents “ disciplined us for a little while as they thought best ” ( verse 10 , NIV ). Even well-meaning parents have limited perspective , and a good part of this perspective depends heavily on their own temperament . Parents need to understand that their children may not have the same temperament they do , and may not react the same way they would at the same age . is as valuable a member of society as the go-getter , hurtful words such as “ lazy sponger ” or even “ loser ” could slip out in a moment of frustration , hurting their relationship deeply .
A meticulous and serious Boxwood Tree mom is often given at least one “ Palm Tree ” child , who finds coloring inside the lines frightfully restrictive . To this mom , it may seem that her Palm Tree daughter has made it her job to embarrass her mom with
“
Parents need to understand that their children may not have the same temperament they do , and may not react the same way they would ...”
I compare different personalities to trees to give visual clues to the differences we may face . A driven , ambitious father with the personality type that I call a Rose Bush , will naturally feel the need to light a fire under his laid-back Pine Tree son “ for his own good ”. His son is content with coming in third place due to a temperament that is more about being with people than beating them at the game . Once this father understands the relational and rational strengths in his son ’ s temperament , he can start viewing him in a new light . However , if he never gains the perspective that a peace-loving and content Pine Tree spontaneous mischief in places where manners matter most – at her mom ’ s workplace , at the Bible study , at the inlaws ’ house and , of course , at church . Unless the mom discovers the beauty of this Palm Tree child ’ s creativity , humor and out-of-the-box thinking , she may be tempted to snip viciously at the wild fronds that break the mold of what the mom assumes to be “ a good kid .”
Let ’ s imagine for a moment that God put all four these trees in one home , to grow together and learn together what it means to be like Christ and to be fully human . Rose Bush Dad is
12 • Solutions