MONY
k to Church
happy when you
”
of Melissa Flageul
much. I nearly broke down as life was
unbearable it was awful. Missing my eldest
boy was the most terrible pain.
Relapse
Then my daughter started over-night
contact with her Dad on August 31“
2013. As it was Dads contact weekend
that meant I had none of my children
at home. I couldn’t bear it and went
out drinking with friends starting in the
afternoon, anything to forget. The vicious
cycle began on every Dads weekend. I
drank myself into oblivion, stayed out all
night as I couldn’t bear to be in an empty
home without my children. On my fortieth
birthday I was out clubbing I bought some
cheap nasty ‘Poppers’ (I hadn’t touched
any type of recreational drug for years)
and drank loads of shots to try and reach
oblivion. I was sniffing ‘Poppers’ just to
try and reach a place away from my life
where I could not feel the pain. Next thing,
I felt stillness and everything went quiet. I
knew who was trying to reach me when I
felt that love again. God was reaching out
to me. Even at my worst God loved me.
Now it would be great to say I turned to
God at that point but instead I ran to the
toilets because I so needed to get away
from God! I ran and hid. I sniffed loads
more ‘Poppers’ but they stopped working.
I drank three shots in a row but nothing
would work. I couldn’t shake off God
touching my heart, and I did want Him to
touch my heart but I felt so ashamed of
the way I was living my life.
I saw a leaflet for Divorce Care at the
Ice House Christian Centre and then
weeks later at my boy’s school. I turned up
one Saturday morning; the people in the
room seemed crazy going on about Jesus
being their strength, reading Scripture
and I thought, oh no not Christians again,
they’re doing my head in. I need to get out
of here quickly and hope they don’t start
singing. They showed a DVD and it was
even worse than Scripture more Christian
stuff. I kept my coat on all I wanted was a
Jack Daniels, a Coke and a cigarette. But
most of all I wanted out of that room but
something kept me sitting there. After the
January - March 2015
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