Sam's Self-Portrait Anthology 1 | Page 9

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Crowds

As I snake my way past crowds

I bow my head

and hope

that no one I offend

I say sorry for every contact

every brush of a sleeve

I'm sorry

so sorry

pardon me

exhaling so many apologies

it's the air I that I breathe.

I'm sorry that I am flesh and bone

physically present to touch you

sorry for my body's contact unto yours

sorry I am here

sorry I am occupying your space

sorry for the footsteps I leave where I stand

so sorry I exist

go ahead

push

and shove

"I'm sorry"

9

I want to be a helpful person, dependable. Unfortunately for me, I always manage to get in the way. My methods for completing any task are normally much more complicated than is necessary. I work better alone. My mind becomes increasingly more muddled as my audience grows. More eyes intensify my paralyzed state. Thinking is impossible. I sound more intelligent on paper, where I have had the time and composure to arrange my thoughts. When faced with a task in public view, I am most likely to spout off an endless ream of “I’m sorry”s for every little mistake I make and to become to frazzled to properly function.

keskhea