Sam's Self-Portrait Anthology 1 | Page 8

Confections of Mass Destruction

By: Unknown

8

last night i tried to make a cake

but everything went wrong

the baking soda would not take

and the salt was way too strong

i did my best to eat a piece

though it really made me gag

my stomach screamed cease

so i found a wretched hag

she only took one bite

and all she got was leaven

there was a flash of light

and she followed it to heaven

the army got wind of this event

and they made me an offer

if i baked til the enemy was spent

i would surely be an officer

i learned that perfection

is not always best

especially when you make a confection

that won't pass the test

Structure is calming. I crave directions to help me through my projects. They should make life much easier. Strangely, most of my attempts to follow instructions end rather comically. Organization is not my friend. We do not get along, as depicted by my lack of binders and the wreckage that is my room. Yet, I diligently struggle on with pandering tips and guidelines. The results always fall short of the goals. Hoping to produce cupcakes that are both pretty and tasty, I instead end up with either breathtaking rocks or delicious monstrosities.