S O U L M A T E S (SasuNaruSasu Magazine) Soulmates Magazine Nº2 | Page 9

We excuse ourselves with a "it is a constructive
comment" to express our displeasure to any par-
ticular situation, but we can get offensive, so it
is important to recognize when we cross that
line.
Let's give a real example of daily life for this:
you get home after a long day of work. When
you get to the bathroom you find all your part-
ner's clothes scattered on the floor. They had
showered hours before and did not pick up
their things. In this situation of discomfort with
live with someone else, in what way would you
formulate your criticism? The constructive
way to say it is: "Would you mind picking up
your clothes please? I would like to take a sho-
wer." So the destructive mode would be: "I
always have to remind you that every time you
take a shower you should take your dirty clot-
hes to the washing machine. Apparently, I have
to repeat myself a thousand times.”
It is possible to criticize without the need to of-
fend, to do so it is important to have keep some
aspects in mind: Always have enough informa-
tion before criticizing. It is better to read well
the situation before making a judgment; the per-
son corrected must consider that what your just
said is for them to improve and that you are not
only judging them just because. Always speak
with respect, even if we do not agree with so-
mething; the manner in which the criticism is
made should be friendly, since it is not about
imposing but about helping the other person,
making them know their mistake. Rising the
criticism in a coherent way to give clear mes-
sages; be 9 very consistent with our opinion. It is
not good to criticize while, on the other hand,
we congratulate because, yeah, the other person
has the right to reply, since they have their own
arguments too.
After reading the previous section, we are going
to talk about another problem that is very im-
portant too. Sometimes we find a real construc-
tive comment to help the author, but they do
not take it in the best way. In that momento, the
following question arises was the reader disres-
pectful, or was it the author who did not take
the comment very well?
If we already know the difference between a
constructive and a destructive comment, talking
about this point becomes relatively simple. Peo-
ple are different in several aspects, some take
criticism to improve, but there are also those
who feel hurt in some way, even though that
what was said was with the best of intentions.
The first scenario that can be presented is whe-
re a reader leaves a truly constructive criticism
to an author, indicating that they should impro-
ve their spelling or did not understand some
parts of their writing and could change their na-
rrative but still the author responds in an
aggressive way or even deletes the comment.
Yes, that is super hurtful, but it is not necessary
to turn it into a problem of colossal proportions.
If your intention is really to continue helping
the author you can continue to leaving cons-
tructive comments in favor of their improve-
ment, and if they erase or ignore these, relax,
you are not doing anything wrong, it is because