Romeo and Juliet May 2014 | Page 6

lADY cAPULET'S

Love Corner

Dear Lady Capulet,

I am having relationship issues. My boyfriend constantly complains that I do not do anything around the house. He also has these gym shoes that smell like rotten broccoli, and he refuses to throw them out. He keeps asking me to make him a sandwich! What do I look like?! His maid?!? I do not know what to do. I do not want to break up with him, because I love him so much. What do I do Wise Lady Capulet. Please help! I do not know where else to turn to! Sincerely,

Mairie Tulque

Dear Mairie,

I completely agree! Why should you have to clean around the house? That is what maids are for. I myself have about 50 of them. And as for that gym shoes situation, just toss them out. He might not even notice that you did, but if he does, blame it on the maid. (Oh that's why I suggest getting more than 1 maid :)) To me it seems like he does not appreciate you. Well there is no need to worry! Just, like to any problem, I have a solution to that one too! It worked for my daughter, well sort of..... My priest can sell you come poison that mimicks the symptoms of death, but do not worry you will wake up in around 24 hours. During that time, your boyfriend will begin to regret him treated you badly and think of all the different ways he could have treated you. The you will wake up, tell him it is a miracle and you guys will live happily ever after! unless he commits suicide like Romeo did.....

Hope that helped,

LADY CAPULET