Rhode Island Monthly January 2020 | Page 56

QUOTABLES! Ralph Kinder, a lawyer representing one of Robert Healey’s beneficiaries following the death of the shaggy-haired Cool Moose Party founder in 2016. Healey, who wanted to be stuffed and kept in a glass cabinet after his demise, left behind a messy will that still hadn’t been resolved three years later. “Yelling, screaming and berating the officials humiliates your child.” Rock Around Our Rollicking Little State RHODE ISLAND According to the state auditor, Medicaid has paid $11.6 million to dead people. PROVIDENCE Police arrested an intoxicated man after he struck forty-one cars; there were no serious injuries. BRISTOL The Rogers Free Library canceled its drag story hour after strong opposi- tion. Days later it was reinstated. PAWTUCKET The PawSox celebrated J.Lo’s engagement to A-Rod at an April game. Fans named Jennifer got in free. AQUIDNECK ISLAND Drivers crossing the Newport Bridge have racked up $9.6 million in unpaid tolls, fees and fines in six years. Tom Mezzanotte, head of the state’s Interscholastic League, explaining that the shortage of referees is because of obnoxious parents. QUOTABLES! “To secede from Rhode Island and our laws is not an appropriate response.” Governor Raimondo on WPRO after Burrillville declared itself a “Second Amendment sanctuary,” following her gun control proposals. WOONSOCKET Domino’s Pizza awarded the city $5,000 to fix its roads. PROVIDENCE Eight cars got flat tires, including three with two flats each, after trying to navigate a monster pothole on Allens Avenue. seeing red, part one: Providence issued more than 10,000 tickets a month to drivers after cameras caught them speeding through school zones. The violations generated more than $3 million in fines while school was in session. seeing red, part two: In one week, Pawtucket’s traffic cameras nabbed 13,000 drivers, mostly for running red lights and speeding through school zones, but let them off with a warning during the probation period. 54    RHODE ISLAND MONTHLY l JANUARY 2020 COURTESY FACEBOOK. QUOTABLES! “This is a good reason why you don’t draft your own will.”