Rhode Island Monthly January 2020 | Page 54

B Y S A R A H F R A N C I S  I L L U S T R A T I O N S B Y J O H N R E G O HERE AT REDS HQ, we’ve been in a bit of a muddle trying to decide this year’s dedication. Should it be the naked firefighter who wandered into a 7-Eleven to buy a diet soda? A one-time press secretary with a distinctly challenged fashion sense? Our former governor who keeps looking for political love in all the wrong places? Three worthy contenders, definitely, but finally we settled on those ninety-nine Rhode Islanders who thought they could avoid paying traffic tickets, higher taxes and insurance by registering their vehicles in Maine, even though they live here in little Rhody. Surprise! Their mailboxes have started bulging with notices from the Rhode Island DMV demanding payment for such pesky things as parking violations and running red lights. Just a bit of advice, guys: don’t dawdle too long in sending in your checks. Those $16,000 in outstanding tickets won’t pay themselves.