A Coach supports, assists, and
facilitates a Creator in clarifying and
manifesting the Creator’s desired
outcomes through the use of powerful
questions. Coaches help Creators
perceive new possibilities; coaches
dare them to dream! Thus, a Coach
acknowledges and helps leverage the
power and capabilities of a Creator
and holds them accountable for taking
the steps necessary to move forward.
Most importantly, a Coach sees the
other as a Creator that is creative and
resourceful – even if they do not know
it themselves.
And that is how educational systems of
empowerment must see a student – as
a Creator. In this kind of environment,
both parents and the school can then
serve as Coach and Challenger in
service to the growth and maturation
of the student into a creative and
resourceful Creator in their own lives.
While such a shift sounds simple, it is
often not an easy thing to do. Parents
must resist the temptation to tell either
the student or the school what to do.
Instead, parents grow in their own
capacity to be a Coach who asks good,
powerful and guiding questions to
help their child articulate outcomes,
consider intended and unintended
consequences, assess their current
realities in light of what they want
to create, and to discern possible
steps and actions to take to grow in
the directions they desire. At times
the parent also steps into the role of
Challenger, setting boundaries and
determining consequences for choices
made by the student.
In much the same way, the school also
consciously approaches the student
as both Coach and Challenger by
supporting students in developing their
capacity to make choices and learn
the skills and disciplines necessary to
make their way in the world.
Together parents and the school can
partner – as coaches and challengers
– to create structures and systems
that support the student in his or her
10
growth and development. They may
still at times feel like victims and
will, themselves, unwittingly serve as
a Challenger to both parents and the
school from time to time as they test
boundaries and explore in ways that
lead to undesirable consequences.
How would the previous example
of the excessively social student
play out using The Empowerment
Dynamic? Both the school and the
parent would respond to the situation,
first and foremost, by seeing the
student as a Creator. Together they
would acknowledge the student’s
need for social interaction, while also
establishing the need for a classroom
environment that does not distract
others from the learning that is going
on (i.e. being a Challenger by setting
boundaries and conditions). Perhaps a
meeting would take place in which the
student was asked coaching questions
such: “What is it you are wanting in
talking with others?” and “How can
you go about getting that need met in a
way that does not lead to consequences
that you don’t want (like having such a
conversation such as this)?”
Imagine for a moment what the
learning experience and environment
would be if parents were engaged
as a Creator themselves, while also
serving as Coach and Challenger;
if the student were treated by those
around them as a Creator, rather than
reacting to them as a Victim; and if the
school saw its role as one of developing
curriculum for a Creator, establishing
and maintaining a system that builds
up and inspires the students it serves
to gain the knowledge, learn the skills,
and develop the self-awareness of
their creative capacities; and engaged
parents as partners in creating an
environment of empowerment.
The triangulation of parent, student and
school is inherent in any educational
system. The intention of this short
paper is to introduce the possibility
of a healthy and empowering set of
relationships that can take shape in
our learning environments – one
in which all parties are seen as co-
creators. Together, parents and
schools can best serve their students
by committing to move beyond the
Dreaded Drama Triangle and the roles
of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer and
to cultivating the skills and abilities
associated with the roles of Creator,
Challenger and Coach that make up
The Empowerment Dynamic.
DAVID EMERALD
David Emerald Womeldorff
is co-founder of the
Bainbridge Leadership Center
(Bainbridge Island, WA) and
author (as David Emerald)
of The Power of TED* (*The
Empowerment Dynamic), a
best-selling teaching story
about Self Leadership. His
latest work is on the 3 Vital
Questions ™: Applying the
Power of TED* to Work and
Life for use in organizations.
David is a frequent presenter
and facilitator on leadership
topics, building collaboration
and various applications of
the 3 Vital Questions ™ and
TED* (*The Empowerment
Dynamic) ™ frameworks
drawn from on his 30 years of
experience in leadership and
organization development.
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