railway wanderers Vol 1 | Page 15

have yet to be denied). dance is still alive and well. Hallelujah indeed. Nanyuki. Don’t be late. Chairman doesn’t like late people. Or the elderly. Or orphans. Or happiness. Look, just don’t be late, okay? 11)Francis: Quick footed, jinking shenanigans from the 1sts hit man. Couldn’t wait to get to Wildcatz. Clearly a Cecchi signing then. Mombassa. Whose interested? Strong turnout judging by hands raised. More welcome. Mash pretended he might not be going. No-one believed him. AOB: No Gaz or Pontus. Will they now only attend Club Night if it is played in the car park of UN Headquarters? Club Night XI: Is my camera racist? Whilst taking head shots for the year book, it wouldn’t take proper pictures of the Kenyan players. 1)Cindy: Made questionable, erratic goalkeeping look sexy. Actually claimed a corner ball for the first time in his life. Kept Bent out for as long as possible. 2)Ivar: Fired crisp long balls at will. He should come back to the 3rds where we’ll use him more creatively. 3)Chris K: Alarmingly calm when passing across his penalty box. 4)Butcher: Tried to encourage troops by explaining that he didn’t need to hoof the ball because ‘we’re all good football players’. Had his car keys taken away as until the drug test came back negative. Where are Moibi’s gay shirts? Surely no-one would steal them…. Is there anyone who born outside the UK who knows what Top Trumps are? Soitirios laughs like an adolescent mouse on helium when he gets excited. Just listen to him when he giggles. Can someone take Ammo’s Twilight DVD’s away from him so he can start coming to Club Night again? AN RWFC MATCH REPORT 5)Shand: wanted to give away a penalty so Bent could score but just couldn’t make himself do it. Railways 2nds: 2 (2) Webber (2) Railway 3rds: 0 6)Scott Webber: Showed that he’s still world class at running backwards and pointing. Another typically hard fought game between the 2nds and the 3rds, who continue to put on a show of wild tackling, questionable fitness and needless swearing at every opportunity. 7)Tom Mooney: Appears to have bought a first touch on Ebay. 8)Sam Cole: Commanding performance. First signs of a promising beard appearing. Good stuff, lad. If that won’t get you into the C.N. XI, nothing will. 9)Bent: His final night. Scored with an unstoppable shot. 10)Udo: The wardrobe shaped goal machine is back and still shoots first and asks questions a week later. Bonus News: The Nigerian river An impressively star-studded 2nds took shape at the BP Shell Ground and several of Mo’s new purchases from the 1sts were making their debuts whilst the 3rds also offered starts to Braeburn gap-year student, Tom, and Chairman, who has seen the light and joined up with the fighting 3rds. With Joel ‘in Europe’ (watching porn) and Francesco ‘in Iraq’ (in the room next to Joel, also watching porn), the stage was also set for me to take my place back between the sticks,