having not played there since August after
three consecutive weeks of being lobbed
from impossible angles. No pressure then.
Both sides traded shots in the early stages
of the first half; Sotirous shot narrowly wide
following good work from Gappie Tom
down the right whilst I had to tip Mo’s powerful drive over the bar after Pontus pulled it
back to him from 12 yards out. Another fast
passing exchange put NDP in and his shot
was just about clawed away for a corner
whilst Ricardo and Gappie Tom were running riot whenever the ball reached them
outside the box.
At the half-time whistle, Mike B could take it
no longer and the world as we know it was
changed forever as the 3rds sent out a
back-four of Chairman, Butcher, Alessandro
and Macheria that for all intents and purposes was dirtier than Paris Hilton in a mudslide.
As expected, ‘the Dogs of War’ did their job
and the final third of the pitch quickly
became a war zone for those who valued
their ankles and the referee’s whistle was
getting blown more times than Tiger Woods
in a cheap motel.
In response, the 2nds poured long balls into
the box and eventually their ‘Route 1’ style
of football paid off. As Scott and Chairman
met to contest the latest long ball, the
Chairman’s shoulders did a fine job of
knocking Webber out of the air, albeit at the
price of a penalty. Now technically, it was a
clear and obvious foul, but for the sake of
building up drama and a sense of injustice, I
wish to state on the record that Scott went
down quicker than a whore at a bachelor
party. Just so we’re clear on that.
Anyway, back to the penalty, which itself
was almost not awarded; not because it
wasn’t a foul but because technically it
could not be proven that Webber was in the
area because the groundsman hadn’t painted the lines in months and no-one knew
where the box was.
Indeed, it was only decided that Chairman
had fouled inside the area when the referee
counted the amount of paces from the goal
line to the point of contact and then had to do
the same thing to work out where the penalty
spot would go.
In that time, the chance to take the penalty had
been turned down by more people than the
ginger one from Girls Aloud, and Sam, on as a
second half substitute, showed Pagey and
Webber what balls looked like and stepped up
to take the spot kick.
As an eerie quiet settled over the pitch, myself
and Sam stared each other down as the vegan
and the vegetarian braced themselves for the
final duel for meat-free diet supremacy. Diving
to my right, a momentary impulse shot through
my head as I realised both myself and the ball
were headed in the same direction. At full
stretch, I managed to claw the ball off the line
and Mash completed the job by hoofing the
ball out into touch.
The 3rds were still in the game and I could
practically taste the victory Fanta as I dusted