dle then instructed Billy Gargoyle : Twaddle Drum Major - Beat the drum slowly . Pickles And to the roll of the big drum , Olaf Gallowsbird , the man who headed an army of Cidermen , climbed unto the cart . He took the salute and sat down on one of the beer-crates . A nasty looking little blighter , a man who once sent his British MENSA papers to Michael Miles , followed him . His name was Davy Brudder . And finally by the man who stole milk from the NSPCC , Twaddle ’ s acknowledged , right-hand man , Cecil Cretin . Marmaduke Twaddle shook each man by the hand , clapped the three newcomers and invited the crowd to do the same . Twaddle It is my great pleasure ! Ladies and Gentlemen please ! It is my great pleasure - - would that fat old bag with the yellow hat shut her frigging gob ! And , Gallowsbird ! Get those men of yours under control . Pickles Olaf Gallowsbird went forward and grabbed the rusty , milk jug with the missing bottom : Gallowsbird Don ’ t speak your words anymore ! Don ’ t clap your hands anymore ! Listen to that man there with the fat ass . Listen to what he ’ s telling you . Pickles Marmaduke Twaddle sat down and hid his head in his hands . I thought he was going to be sick . Cretin stepped forward and urged his master : Cretin Stand up to them , Duke . Face them like the courageous man I know you are . Get up and speak your words . Pickles Marmaduke swiped at his mate . He was absolutely livid : Twaddle Don ’ t treat me like I was one of those Cider-morons ! You little red headed prick . Pickles Cretin slunk into the background in a huff and it was then that Davy Brudder made his first play for power . He went forward and grabbed the rusty , milk jug with the bottom gone and announced : Brudder I now call on our honoured leader - MISTER MARMADUKE TWADDLE . Pickles ‘ What odds will you lay against that little swine getting the top job ', I asked Perkin Snipes , the man who is reputed to have a pension from the Army and Navy Stores . Snipes Top job ! Nine to two , being as you asked . Pickles Ten bob ! Snipes You ' re on , two pounds and five shillings to ten shillings . Twaddle Ladies and Gentlemen , your attention please ! Pickles Twaddle had gathered himself together again : Twaddle It is my great pleasure to announce to you my selection to head up our newly incorporated order : R . I . P . Pickles Little Cecil Cretin stepped forward in anticipation . A smile crept back on his poxy face . And Twaddle continued :