Twaddle Sergeant Brudder is right, wait till I get my hands on that Freeloader creature. Cretin My dad said the Japanese attacked Miss Pearl Harper without first declaring war on her. Pickles How could that be? You didn’ t even know who your dad was! Cretin When this war is over yours will be only starting. Pickles Brudder laughed at the little man Meanwhile the other little man, the one with the fat ass cleared his throat, grabbed the rusty milk jug with the bottom missing: Twaddle Ladies and Gentlemen-- err-- Soldiers of the Realm, from sixteen hundred hours on May the seventh, nineteen-hundred and sixty-three, this count-- NOT NOW, CECIL!-- is at war with the MAGYARS of Tiphead Wastelands. Brudder What ' s this Magyars thing? Twaddle One can ' t simply declare war on gypsies. It doesn ' t sound right. After all, Franklin D. Roosevelt didn ' t just declare war on Tojo and his little band of yellow-bellies. No, he declared war on the JAPANESE PEOPLE. Brudder You would know. Twaddle Of course I would know. I have been educated in such matters. Now, Gentlemen, we need a strategy. No war had been won without a strategy. Brudder Right, where do we start. Twaddle The plank, we will start with the sturdy oak plank. Let ' s study where we can form a bridgehead over the River Slutch. Pickles On the far side of the River Slutch the gypsies had formed their caravans into a defensive circle. Twaddle had no idea how to penetrate it but he pretended he had the situation in hand. Twaddle As yes! Custard was faced with such a situation at the‘ Battle of Little Bighorn’ and he came out of it with flying colours. Pickles Apart from being a little bit dead. Cretin What would Hopalong Cassidy have done in such a situation? Twaddle I do not wish to hear that name repeated whilst you are under my command. UNDERSTOOD, PRIVATE CRETIN? Cretin Sometimes you are very cruel to your very best friend, Duke. Twaddle Stop sniffling man, a war situation is no time for sniffling. Divisional Commanders! Gather around the person of your Field Marshall. Brudder What don ' t we just charge down this bloody slagheap and kick their buts? Twaddle
That might put a strain on our lines of communication. Logistics, Sergeant. Logistics is another thing that