Carrying this big oak log. It ' s a long to Tiphead Wastelands, It ' s a long way to roam. But our old tarts will be waiting, On the scrumpy barrels at home. Pickles On reaching the Tiphead Wastelands Twaddle led his armies up the South Heap on his little Harley Robinson. But Cretin and him had to get off and push it up. It took them nearly three hours to get to the summit as the slag was in a precarious state due to overnight rain. Nobody quite understood why he took them up the South Heap in the first place as the gypsy encampment was nowhere near there. Brudder groaned and moaned the whole way up. Twaddle stopped to catch his breath and Gallowsbird rammed the plank up his fat ass. Twaddle SERGEANT! Gallowsbird Yes, Sir! Twaddle Get that bloody plank out of my arse. I have suffered severely in that department over these last few days. Brudder Why? I think it suits you Duke Marmaduke. Twaddle Sergeant Brudder, I must remind you, you have not enhanced your chances of becoming Deputy-head of B. O. G. Brudder At this precise moment, I couldn ' t care less. Twaddle Sergeant Gallowsbird! Gallowsbird Yes, Sir! Twaddle Record this incident in your log. Gallowsbird In a moment, Sir after I extract it from your ass- SIR. Pickles The Cidermen and SS Men were covered in slimy black goo from slithering and sliding and sitting down to dislodge bits of coal from their boots. Morale was far from high. The little man with the fat ass observed the gypsy encampment with his binoculars. He took out a map and made a great fuss of sticking pins in it- here and there. But the wind took it and he had to resort to drawing a ballpoint sketch on the palm of his hand. Twaddle Cecil, exactly where would you put the gypsies in this sketch? Cretin I ' d say there, Duke. Twaddle AH! MY FRIGGING HAND! You stupid little piss-artist, you have grievously wounded the hand that feeds you. Did you have to stick the pin in my bleeding hand? Cretin Sorry, Duke. Twaddle And, Cecil! When we are in a war situation- call me GENERAL. Cretin Sorry, Duke-- err-- General. Twaddle You had better make way for Sergeant Brudder; you are not up to the pressures of modern warfare. Brudder Who said anything about a war? You can ' t have a war without declaring a war.