Pickles Then one of the gypsies spoke to me: Donk Dat’ s probably given Freeloader de chance he was looking for to get offside. He’ s afraid of us Gypsies, you know. Pickles It was Tam Donk, Licensee of the Traveller’ s Rest and acknowledged leader of the Gypsy community in Plonkton and widely known as the man with a zero tax rating. ' I thought you’ d be organising the defence of your people, Tam?', I remarked. Donk Well in hand. Tis since de dawn we’ ve been waiting. Day will never force my people across de River Slutch. Dat! I believe is der intention. Pickles I think it will, in the end, come down to Duncan Buttass- and the bung. Donk We would never get involved wif dat mad man. If he receives a bung it will not be from my people. Pickles Then you will loose the day. Donk Do not be too sure, Pickles. Do not bet on it. Pickles Sorry, Tam. Look! There seems to be an argument going on. Twaddle ' s getting all het up. Brudder I tell you, there is no time to waste. You are giving the gypsies time to construct defences. Twaddle And I tell you, Sergeant Brudder, we must establish a bridgehead over the River Slutch. Brudder But the River Slutch is only ten feet wide up there. Twaddle Exactly! What we need is a stout oak plank. If General Bradley had not had his sturdy oak plank there would have been no beachhead established on Omaha Sector on D Day. Brudder And who carried General Bradley ' s oak plank? Twaddle His sergeant, of course! Brudder I ' m not carrying a flipping oak plank. Twaddle SERGEANT GALLOWSBIRD! Gallowsbird Yes, SIR! Twaddle Find a sturdy oak plank and carry it on your shoulder to the Tiphead Wastelands. Gallowsbird Yes, SIR! Pickles A few minutes later the column set off. Twaddle and Cretin again leading on the Harley Robinson 50 cc. Panzer was followed by Brudder and his smartly turned out SS Men. Then, Olaf Gallowsbird, carrying a sturdy oak plank on his shoulder and inciting his Cidermen into song: Gallowsbird It ' s a long to Tiphead Wastelands, It ' s a long way to slog. It ' s a long to Tiphead Wastelands,