mostly in Ratferry, has resulted in the trebling of men under his command. He had taught them to march using, what was later to become known as;‘ the pooper step.’ This was like the famous‘ goose step’ in reverse: small step forward, followed by leg thrust out in an exaggerated fashion to the rear; the boot to be given a shake when at its zenith- as if getting rid of something that had been inadvertently picked up. Gallowsbird found enough difficulty getting his men to head in the right direction- without having to worry about marching. Suckpepper Oh! Look Fabian! That is the Eighth Earl of Marm. Isn’ t he simply marvellous? Look Fabian! Why are you not looking? Pickles Sally Suckpepper nudged me.‘ I’ ve been sick once today already,’ I answered, knocking her stupid arm away. Then I got a shock:‘ Bloody hell! Look at what I’ ve just spotted. That’ s our Hamilton, striding out behind the SS Men, Crown of Marm( 1st Class), Dodo Gong and all.’ Suckpepper Yes, he is rather cute, Fabian. But he cannot compare with the poise and charm of the Eighth Earl Pickles I ' m not talking to you and STOP calling me Fabian. Suckpepper That ' s your name, isn ' t it? Pickles Not to you. You can call me stranger. Suckpepper Okay, stranger, what do you think of the poise and charm of the Eighth Earl? Pickles He couldn ' t compare with the poise and charm of a camel with cramp. But what’ s Hamilton Conk doing out there with Twaddle and Co? That’ s what I want to know. Suckpepper Maybe he is training to become a soldier? Pickles I’ ve been training him to become a human being since he was six months old. Suckpepper I should love to be married to such a man. Pickles Well, if you fancy being head-butted through the bathroom window every morning- fair enough. Suckpepper Not silly Hamilton Conk! The Eighth Earl. Pickles
‘ You would be better picking glass slivers out of your ass every morning, if you ask me.’ The battalion stopped off at the Cosh and Jemmy and picked up a stack of willow bats shaped like tennis rackets. Brudder You will find that this design will cause the greatest impact when applied to the buttocks- WHACK! Pickles Davy Brudder demonstrated one on Basil Freeloader. The man who treated his subordinates with contempt was knocked ass-over-tit and lay face down in the gutter. Twaddle spun the Harley Robinson around. He and Cretin gazed down at the shrieking Freeloader who was clasping the cheeks of his ass and wriggling like a dissected worm. Cretin What shall we do with him? He is the holder of the Knights Swords, after all. Twaddle
We can’ t have a Knight wriggling about, holding unto the cheeks of his own ass. Leave him there! Treat him as a fallen hero or something but let us get down to the real business, the expulsion of the Irish Gypsies from the ancient site of the Ancestral Home of Marm.