Twaddle What are you building up to, Cecil? Can you not see I am a busy man?" Cretin A teeny-weenie, Crown of Marm? Twaddle First class, no doubt you’ d like? Cretin Pleeeeese! Twaddle Can you not comprehend that awarding you a‘ Crown of Marm( 1st. Class)’ would degrade my personal achievement. Perhaps a little‘ Crown of Marm( 2nd. Class)’ Cretin Yes, of course it would. What a silly boy I am. Twaddle That would be still seen as over-achievement on your part. Cretin Yes, of course it would. What a silly boy I am. I would be very pleased with a little‘ Crown of Marm( 3rd. Class)’ Twaddle Well, you will have to settle for a pretty little‘ Knight ' s Swords.' Cretin Oh thank you, my very, very, very, good friend. Twaddle Stop it! You know I am a sentimental old fool at times. Pickles‘ Is that why you tied Lizzie Juggins to the big wheel?' I shouted in the window. Twaddle Piss off! You nosey little gerbil. Pickles Eventually the amended list came fluttering back out:‘ Crown of Marm( 2nd. Class)’ for Davy Brudder.‘ Crown of Marm( 3rd. Class)’ for Olaf Gallowsbird.‘ Knights Swords’ for Basil Freeloader.‘ Knights Swords’ for Cecil Cretin.‘ Dagger and Star’ for Billy Gargoyle and a new skin for his big drum.‘ Serfs Medal( 1st. Class)’ for each of the SS Men.‘ Serfs Medal( 2nd. Class)’ for each of the Cidermen. Provided you accept Dodo Gongs for Hamilton Conk, Wild Will Tucker, Perkin Snipes, Lizzie Juggins, Thomas Softhead and Fabian Pickles.
A large barrel of scrumpy and thirty replacement shaving mugs, provided you conduct an immediate search to trace the whereabouts of our beloved‘ Handkerchief of Blood’. Davy Brudder scribbled on it:‘ Terms agreed’ and thrust it back into the public toilets. After a couple of minutes a cheque was handed back through the peg-stay sash. It was made out to Plonkton Safety Pin Factory. Brudder So that’ s where he gets his awards manufactured. Pickles Another cheque arrived for the Cosh and Jemmy public house and was handed over to Olaf Gallowsbird, who immediately set off with his Cidermen singing,‘ Roll out the Barrel.’‘ So that’ s where he gets his booze’ I laughed aloud. Brudder What are you on about? Pickles In the pub. That ' s where he gets his booze- in the pub. Brudder
You are giving me a sore head, little man.